Fire Safety's Coming, Quick! Hide the Toaster!

As a member of a guilty quad that has been graciously spared the wrath of Fire Safety fines three times this year, I really shouldn't be poking fun at them.But come on-- tapestries? Princetonians, take note. Here are some Fire Safety notices about dorm room fixtures that, who would have thought, aren't kosher (a shout out to my Passover Jews):

"UMBRELLA IN DOOR: $25.00""TAPESTRY - should be placed against wall: $0.00""REMOVE SHOES FROM HALLWAY/STAIRWELL: $25.00"

Additional student-submitted violations:

"$50 for a chin-up bar in a doorway (way above anyone's head)"-- DK"Unsanitary and/or excessively disorderly conditions. Remove excess: clothing on floor. $0.00."-- AF"We had an exit sign pointing at the door and they stole it and charged us for it. $25." --JTG"I got a warning for having a pillow fort in the hallway." -- NA

So, how does one get around these fines and regulations? In my case, have a violation so large that Fire Safety cannot do anything about it.Enter: The Beached Whale.It was a freshman mistake. My roommates and I unwittingly decided to purchase an illegal fridge. Not a separate fridge and a microwave (also illegal). A full-size behemoth. That monstrosity in the picture above (so large that tourists come and take photos with it) rolled into the dorm one day on a huge moving cart, cemented itself in the common room corner, and we were stuck.Bedsheets were not an option.Princeton's policy is that all fridges must be counter height. Ours was...almost 6 feet tall. How did we not get fined?Sheer, shameless desperation. Each time they came to inspect, we begged and pleaded with Fire Safety ("Look, we've been trying to get rid of it all year...we didn't know, honestly! We're just dumb freshman...look at it! Could you move this thing?!") and amazingly, the appraisal of Fire Safety was essentially: "Damn, I guess you're right."They left us with a warning. We finally called the movers-- after the third inspection.