Princeton's totally a ghetto, report says

Oh hey freshmen, enjoying Princeton so far? Well good! Just be sure to be careful, because it's actually one of the most dangerous places ever.Or, there's just a hell of a lot of theft, and druggies, and alcoholics. You're living in South Central, basically.A report released by Public Safety (found here) finds that in the past year, there's been an increase in the number of campus thefts and a more prominent increase in the number of sexual assaults.Wow, thanks sexual deviant, you're totally making us look trashy. Go to the Wa or something, who knows what goes on in that bathroom.And how about you, recreational drug users? Having fun over there on the golf course?

At Princeton, arrests for drug abuse violations skyrocketed from none in 2006 and 2007 to 15 in 2008, the university’s report shows."Most of the arrests for drug violations were made on non-students," Davall said.

Princeton's entire crew of dealers were wiped out in one hit. No pun intended.The increase might be, though, because PSafe's been prowlin' around on their JusticeMobiles™ and the borough police have been killing fun at Lawnparties:

Arrests for liquor law violations also went up, from two in 2007 to 10 in 2008, according to the reported figures."The increase in the number of arrests for liquor law violations is directly attributable to increased efforts by the borough police to impact high-risk drinking, particularly for serving alcoholic beverages to underage persons," Davall said. "Some of these arrests occurred on Prospect Avenue, and some occurred on campus."

Also, there's been a spike in arrests of kids using water guns, which surprisingly didn't make the report. Go figure.Funny side note: check out the fires that happened on campus in the report, and their causes. Henry saw one fire, due to a wreath hanging on a door. Understandable, I suppose. Also, there was a fire in Pyne, because of a trash can. Less understandable. And bulletin board fires in Scully. Two, actually. Not quite sure how that worked out... both times.So there you go, Princeton's not exactly the country club everyone made it out to be. I dunno. Just blame it on the recession. Or George Bush.(image source: flickr.com)