LIVE BLOG- Dean's Date, Fall 2021
3:10 PM - Page counts
We asked survey respondents how many pages they had left to write in these last 24 hours before the 5 pm Dean’s Date deadline. The highest count was LW ‘25, prospective English major, with “20+” pages to write. The lowest was BB ‘23, also an English major, with 0 pages. A representative range of English majors, perhaps. About half of respondents had between 5-10.
With a bit of math, we find most people had to write 0.2 - 0.4 pages per hour (pph), which seems doable. Assuming LW ‘25 had ~24 pages, their pph was likely 0.9 - 1.1. BB ‘23 had an enviable 0 pph, though they did mention having to write 97 pages total this semester.
Your correspondents had their work cut out for them as well. YL ‘22 mentioned having 13 pages left at 4:11 AM, so a pph of 1 in the latter half of the Dean’s Date rush. EW ‘24 still had an essay left as of 5:05 AM, though pph can’t be calculated in this case. I myself had a light pph of 0.2 after scrambling the rest of reading period. If you couldn’t tell, it’s a research report with a bunch of acronyms.
-RBH ‘23
2:16 PM - Tunes
Two papers down, two to go. My final pages, however, are to be written with nothing but the scattered conversations in Tiger Tea Room as background noise: sometime in the past 24 hours, I have misplaced my AirPods case. It’s unfortunate.
For those who have functioning headphones, however, here are a few songs getting people through the final hours:
- "Nonstop" from Hamilton - LW '25
- Save Your Tears by The Weeknd ft Ariana Grande - SY ‘24
- I Have A Problem by Beartooth - HF ‘23
- Failure by Breaking Benjamin [alternatively: I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance] - RR ‘23
Happy listening!
-AC '24
1:50 PM - Taking care of business
Based on both survey responses, as per our last post, and common sense, it seems like a good majority of the campus is heavily caffeinated at the moment. And that means that once 5 PM hits, you will finally get a chance to relieve yourself. To aid in your choice, UPC presents a list of the best (and worst) bathrooms on campus.
Recommended:
Forbes Bathroom under the dining hall – SY ’24 (maybe worth the trek?)
Woolworth Bathrooms – ST ’24 (central location!)
Scheide Caldwell 2nd floor – BB ’23 (potentially a good alternate to Stone bathrooms?)
Avoid!:
Firestone B-Floor bathrooms – HF ‘23 (unfortunately this is probably the closest option for some of you)
McCosh Hall – CK ’23 (can confirm)
-VP ‘22
1:00 PM - Stressed & Caffeinated
We’re all overworked, but are we all equally caffeinated? Here’s a glance of how our fellow classmates are sipping their way through Dean’s Date:
Venti Dark Roast from Starbucks + Iced American from Small World
- S.E. ’24
Medium Hot Coffee with Cream and Sugar from Dunkin
- L.W. ’25
Late Meal Coffee
- S.T. ’24
Cappuccino
- C.K. ’23
Double Scrooge from Small World
- B.B. ’23
Currently Monster Energy, but usually an Irish cream Cold Brew with an extra shot of espresso
- H.F. ’23
Tower Club Coffee machine
- R.R. ’23
Wawa Mocha wake-up
- L.L. ’25
Caffeine can always be found in the most overwhelming of times... There's four hours left on the clock, Princeton. Grab a cup of something to help you along the way:)
-H.K'23
12:00 PM - Procrastinating Procrastination
Well, it’s happened. This is it. I’m throwing in the towel. I’ve officially run out of ideas.
I’m sure this is a common Princeton sentiment, right? When it feels like you’ve been writing for days on end and the thought of trying to squeeze another word out of your foggy, fatigued brain is like trying to find a list spot on a Saturday night as an unaffiliated freshman.
Google says that these are the steps you should take when you run out of ideas and need a creative boost:
- Write Anything: In fact, write anything you think is bad, deliberately.
Now this might seem counterintuitive, but I’ve found that sometimes biting the bullet and just brain dumping onto a Google doc can be an effective way to get locked into the task at hand. Even if something sounds incoherent and dull in your head, the key is to stop overthinking and start: after all, starting is half the battle. Theme of 2021: stop overthinking!
- Collaborate: What’s worse than monotony?
Working with someone else can be a great way to get yourself out of a rut. Bounce ideas off of your roommate, pester your friends about word choice and diction. Maybe you’ll learn something and the rest of the assignment will naturally fall into place. Or maybe you’ll gain the insight to look at something from a new perspective, cracking the code to inspiration.
- Get Out of Your Head and Out in the World
Maybe this isn’t the best advice this close to 5:00 PM, but even a little break can help. Clear your head, take a power walk, go buy yourself another overpriced coffee. Anything to look up from the screen and reconnect to the world around you. What’s the phrase? Touch some grass.
- Go with the Flow
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to write the next great American novel or a Nobel-prize worthy research paper. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Take it easy and try to enjoy the work you’re doing. If you do, I promise the rest will kind of just…. fall into place.
https://writingcooperative.com/what-to-do-when-you-have-run-out-of-ideas-4c13c1c8c49b
Well, I guess in a way this post was my own reprieve from work, my own form of procrastination. Hang in there, everyone! On that note, I’m feeling inspired :)
-JY '22
10:00 AM - The Door Behind the Tree
Things might seem a little rough right now. Still have 10 pages to write and sore fingers? Feeling sick from late night breakfast? Maybe all that syrup and coffee was a bad combination.
In any case, papers, essays, and (the dreaded) take-home exams (that we are trying to pretend do not exist) are looming before us like this tree
The tree overwhelms the picture, sitting on a patch of dead (or maybe just dormant) grass. But see the door behind it? Dean’s Date has an exit: an entrance to the relief of 5:01 PM, just 7 hours away.
-RB '25
9:57 AM — The Ten Best Places to Nap on Campus
100% serious, but unfortunately not completely from lived experience.
10. Holder Basement
I can assure you, with only the slightest degree of certainty, that I am not writing this after taking a procrastination-induced nap on the (of questionable cleanliness) sofas in the warm depths of Holder Basement…
9. Forbes Annex
It’s closed off from the world! It’s a cocoon of community! In the (over-optimistic? You decide) words of Forbesians: it forges lifelong bonds! Looking past the choice of building material and the imposed carpets, Forbes Annex is a haven of sorts when it comes to escaping the hustle and bustle of Princeton Dean’s Date.
9. Engineering Library
Lovely & quiet, with light streaming through the Treehouse windows. Only slightly tainted by doom and BSE suffering upon awakening.
8. Under the bleachers of the football stadium, next to the COVID-19 testing site
Promotes efficiency — napping here will allow you to find it when you inadvertently forget to submit your COVID test, and mitigates having to prowl the grounds of Princeton fuelled by the fear of disciplinary probation! In the (probably inaccurate) words of McCosh, only baddies are Covid compliant!
7. Frist
For optimal naptime, in the late meal period in the midst of noise as well. Show them that you are the most sleep deprived college student! Assert your superiority and superhuman ability to fall asleep anywhere!
6. In the middle of FRS 195 (Stillness)
Insider sources report that sleep is rated highly in this class — if you fall asleep, you’re listening to your body, and internalizing the value of being still. (Unfortunately, I also hear it’s not offered in the Spring though)
5. The sofabed that your Math professor keeps in their office, because Math professors are human too
✨I am not an unwanted visitor✨
4. J-Street
For the vibes. Need I say more?
3. The Street on a Saturday night
This is probably more involuntary than anything else — but be careful if not, you could be mistaken for an inebriated student!
2. Chancellor Green
This one’s serious. The big sofas are absolutely exquisite — the best sleep I’ve gotten at Princeton thus far.
1. Eisgruber’s Office
A great way to demonstrate against academic burnout and the pressures of Princeton! Literally an act of silent protest, unless you snore, of course.*
*UPC is not responsible for any events that may occur as a result of this recommendation.
Sleep well, Princeton.
SC ‘25
8:08 AM - the flower ...
There are 256 flowers in the Chancellor Green Library (at least,) and as far as I can tell, they are mostly various shades of yellow-brown-green-bronze. As I count it, there are 160 on the railing around the top, and there are 96 around the pillars.
They’ve all kept the same metallic flavor, that is, except one. One of the flowers in the library — I won’t attach a picture, you’re to find it yourself, although it shouldn’t be too hard — is red. Just one. Just one flower has been painted red.
This leads to several questions.
- Why is the flower red?
- Why aren’t the other flowers red?
- Am I going crazy?
- What is a flower?
- Are you sickos happy?
- What kind of a person would do this?
- It looks awful.
- Are you kidding me?
- Who hurt you?
Anyway, I don’t go to Chancellor Green anymore. It’s not a good place for me. I can’t take it — I guess I’m not mature enough. But now that I know, you have to know … and good luck being able to study there without thinking of the red flower …
--GT '24
5:05 AM - The Talk of Scholars
It’s officially 12 hours to the deadline, and yours truly, EW ‘24, still hasn’t started their final essay. So instead of doing that, I’ve decided to curate a lovely list of fascinating things we’ve overheard our fellow students saying on campus.
“I don’t know words.” - overheard by SC ‘25
“They’re gonna chop me up into little pieces and sell me on the black market.” - overheard by EW ‘24
“My toes are fat AF.” - overheard by EW ‘24
“Dean’s Date is like Christmas! So exciting!” - overheard by CK ‘23
- A: “I can’t imagine myself hooking up with him.”
- B: “But you already did.”
- A: “I know!” - overheard by ST ‘24
“There was this random Irish woman working at the coffee shop for some reason. We asked her how far away something was and she said, ‘13 miles as the crow flies.’” - overheard by EW ‘24
“The Brits can have berries and cream. That’s the only thing they’ve contributed to the culinary world.” - overheard by SC ‘25
“Friends who spit together stay together.” - overheard by EW ‘24
- A: “You are such a big influence on the songs that get stuck in my head. If you sing a song, it gets stuck in my head.”
- B: “Are you saying I’m a good singer?”
- A: “No.” - overheard by EW ‘24
"Life has not given me lemons. It has given me pants, and I just shit them." - overheard by HF ‘23
Here’s to the reminder that when you forget your earbuds on the walk to class, sometimes just eavesdropping is entertainment enough.
4:11 AM - Desperate for Coffee
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure:
13 hours left until dean's date and 13 more pages to write, your correspondent is here to serve some random coffee facts about Princeton that you didn't know you want to know:
- Looking for coffee in Princeton? Check out the Where can I get coffee right now? website. *Disclaimer: it is at least 11 years outdated
- In 1990, Campus Dining estimated students consumed approximately ten thousand pounds of coffee on campus every year, a 50% decrease from the late 70s and early 80s. According to William C. Porter, then head of purchasing for Campus Dining, students were increasingly substituting their caffeine consumption with decaf coffee and herbal teas.
- Chancellor Green Cafe, opened in 1985 as a replacement for the on-campus pub, operated as an award-winning coffee house recognized by the Coffee Development Group. It was originally founded in the East Pyne rotunda and caused quite an uproar in 2000 when the University proposed converting the cafe into the humanities library we know today.
- Murray-Dodge Cafe, founded in 1976, didn’t serve coffee until ?? (for the procrastinating reader, this is an intriguing yet unsolvable mystery - interesting rabbit hole for the curious). Back in 2010, their hours were much limited, from 10pm-12:30am instead of the 3pm-midnight hours we enjoy in 2021. Your correspondent fact-checked this information on a College Confidential post from 2010.
- Jessica Durrie, the owner of Princeton’s beloved cafe, Small World was a vocal opponent of the outdoor seating space on Witherspoon (right outside Small World). While most students can simply go on a short walk down Witherspoon, some local residents have voiced frustrations about the long wait-times on the new one-way street.
--YL '22
3:18 AM – The Height of Poesis
In a moment (or several :’’’) ) of Dean’s Date procrastination, I looked back upon my books from this semester and critically engagedTM with them in the most scholarly way I know how: using them to create blackout poetry.
May I present the highlights of my Dean’s Date Fall 2021 Blackout Poetry collection:
“Ode to Finance Bros”
From Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart, Grove Press, p. 327:
“Michael”
From Story by Robert McKee, ReganBooks, p. 242:
“I Mean, Wouldn’t You?”
From The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, Vintage International, p. 75:
“Dog Person”
From 100 Essays I Don’t Have Time to Write by Sarah Ruhl; Farr, Straus and Giroux, p. 128:
“Satisfaction”
From In Cold Blood by Truman Capote, Vintage International Edition, p. 228:
“Instructions”
From There There by Tommy Orange, Vintage Books, p. 101:
And, finally:
“Morale”
From Tolstoy’s Short Fiction by Leo Tolstoy, A Norton Critical Edition (2nd), p. 319:
—AA ‘23
2:29 AM ET: What Time Is It, Anyway?
If you, like JH '22, have lost all sense of time—perhaps while studying in the labyrinthine basement of Firestone, typing frantically at a lone table in Frist, or waking up from a truly disorienting falling-asleep-at-your-desk nap like yours truly—you may be wondering what day it is, and if it's even Dean's Date at all.
Have no fear: your favorite website, IsItDeansDate.Com , is here.
SPOILER ALERT: The answer is:
(And yes: this website is up and running all year, for you to check to your heart's content.)
May time be on your side!
—AA '23
2:12 AM ET: Fonts
A disagreement on font choices has revealed to me it is my duty to inform all those who are not aware of the most and least effective font choices for churning out papers.
Here are the requirements: the font has to be ugly enough to make you feel better about shoddy drafts, but not so ugly that it becomes distracting. On the other hand, if a font is too pretty, it will deter you from writing for fear that the content will not match the quality of the font.
Examples of fonts that are bad enough to be good:
Examples of fonts that good enough to be bad:
Examples of fonts that are just bad:
The last upshot of typing out essays in this way is that once you have written out your single spaced, ugly-but-not-distractingly-so draft, no matter how subpar the content is, you have the satisfaction of control-A-ing, Times-New-Roman-ing, and double-spacing the little friend.
-AC '24
2:00 AM ET: Procrastination
Your correspondent looked up some procrastination quotes and found this:
“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone” - Pablo Picasso
Maybe it’s fine to finish the paper tomorrow then?
I put off the decision and wrote this post instead. Everyone has their own way of procrastinating. Here’s how survey respondents have ignored work in their own way:
“lurking around campus for free food, online shopping, building new Pinterest boards, curating list of movies and tv shows to watch after finals” - SY ‘24
“Working, dancing, going to the writing center, cleaning” - LW ‘25
“sleeping through every meal” - ST ‘24
“filling out this survey” - CK ‘23
“Dante memes” - BB ‘23
“Is it procrastination when you're chronically ill?” - HF ‘23
My ‘23 peers seem to be sick, finding memes, or filling out the UPC survey. I can appreciate that last one at least.
-RBH ‘23
10:14 PM ET: A Princetonian’s Guide to Water
It’s 10:00 PM, and you reach for your water bottle, terribly thirsty after a typical Dean’s Date writing marathon (well, if you’re procrastinating, you’re only a couple miles in), only to discover that your bottle is empty. You debate with yourself, weighing whether a quality sip of water is worth a walk across campus.
Maybe you’ll settle for the Witherspoon water after all—the spigot in the basement kitchen looks awfully corroded, but a little rust can’t do any harm, right?
Princeton’s Office of Sustainability offers a webpage dedicated to the university’s “Drink Local” bottle-filling stations—tall spouts or automatic machines found in residence hall common kitchens, hallways, academic and administrative buildings, and athletic buildings like Dillon Gym. All 250 water bottle-filling stations claim to be freshly filtered, so you can rest assured that your water is safe to drink, but whether these stations all provide water that’s equal in temperature and taste is another story. The water in say, the Lewis Library, seems to have a different flavor—definitely more peculiar—than the water in Frist.
So where will you hydrate tonight? Some things to consider:
-Can the water in Rocky and Mathey be trusted, despite its occasional coloring?
-Is the cold, refreshing water at the U-Store worth the slow speed of the machine? (Note to self: Your 32 oz bottle will take a while to fill—prepare to shop while you wait.)
-Is the H2O from the filling station in Frick Chemistry strangely warm, or is it just me?
-What about good old-fashioned tap water?
-Thoughts on East Pyne? Woolworth 1st Floor? Firestone?
In any case, we may be able to agree on one thing. The best water comes from, to quote SY ‘24, a “sparkling water machine in wucox or roma.”
Even if you live in Forbes, maybe your water is worth heading to Late Night Breakfast at Rocky Dining Hall, happening from 10-11:30 PM tonight! Enjoy a pancake and a refreshing glass of sparkling water. Then you can get back to your marathon.
-RB '25
9:48 PM EST: In the words of Steph Curry
As you may (or may not) have heard, Steph Curry (Go Dubs!) is very close (2 away!) to breaking the NBA’s longstanding career 3-pointer record. Last Monday, Curry made a statement that he could do so in at home by making 16 in one game. Per ESPN, Curry said that having the whole world talk about him making 16 “sparked a little extra – I won’t call it tension, just anxiousness about the whole night.”
Now, I believe that the same logic could apply to Dean’s Date. Really, having the whole school talk about a 5 PM deadline definitely sparks “tension” and “just anxiousness about the whole night.” Wouldn’t it be so much better if we could just leave people without deadlines? Or better yet, just avoiding having final papers due at all ;)
In the meantime, since that’s not likely to happen, let’s have a quick check on where some survey respondents see themselves in 24 hours:
“Downing a carton of chocolate + cookie dough ice cream after I submit my essay” -SY ‘24
“Asleep.” -LW ‘25
“In the pits of hell.” -ST ‘24
If you are reading this, give yourself a quick procrastination break and fill in our survey!
-VP ‘22
8:50 PM EST: (Fire)stoned Thoughts
As we are now less than 24 hours away from Dean’s Date, it’s about that time when the mind starts getting a little… funky. Enjoy these “high” thoughts - though I promise the only thing running through my veins is adrenaline and too much caffeine. :)
- Is there a synonym for synonym?
2. If I weigh 99 pounds and eat a pound of chicken tenders, am I 1% chicken tenders? (Anyone care to test this one out at late meal?)
3. If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
4. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
5. If you were born deaf, what language do you think in?
6. If you work as a security guard at a Samsung store, does that make you a guardian of the galaxy?
7. What happens if I get scared half to death twice?
8. Why is there a "D" in fridge but not in refrigerator?
9. If you're waiting for the waiter, aren't you the waiter?
10. If you get out of the shower clean, how does the towel get dirty?
11. If Apple made a car, would it still have windows?
12. If tomatoes are fruits then isn't ketchup a smoothie?
13. When you buy a bigger bed, you have less bedroom but more bed room.
14. If life is unfair to everyone, does that mean it's actually fair?
15. If you try to fail but end up succeeding, which did you actually do?
16. Right now, you are both the oldest you have ever been and the youngest you will ever be.
Hope these boggle your mind - but not too much. Stay sane, everyone!
-JY '22
7:00 PM ET: Ode to the Firestone Study Rooms
The Firestone study rooms have quickly become my favourite place on campus — their bright lighting, walls of glass, and most importantly, being soundproof — makes them a breath of fresh air within the stench of anxiety and impending doom that hangs over firestone.
It seems like they’ve become a campus favourite as well, with it being a nightmare to try to book a study room on Dean’s Date.
With the value that we place on them, and the (surely enlightening) discussions that occur within them, they are historical artefacts in their own right. Here are some of my favourite adages written on their walls, memorializing bastions of intellectual pursuit:
Opening with a call to action:
Please.
We’ve found DIALOGUE between different prominent Princeton scholars here! One for the archives.
Scarily imposing, but also scarily close to the ceiling…The fact that this towers above me really hammers the point home.
Who is Lutz, and what have they done to deserve this?
I felt the illustration on a personal level.
Egg leg is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen so far — I hope it (they?) incites something within y’all too.
Asking the real questions here — now this is a D3 I’d like to read.
And signing off this series with modern art at its finest:
Simple. Unmistakeable. Emphatic. ~Bum~.
Good luck to everyone with Dean’s Date assignments! And take this final piece of advice from the Firestone walls:
(Try not to cry. Ever!)
Love,
- SC ‘25, freshly fuelled by 4 shots of espresso at 7 pm
5:00 PM ET: Opening Poem
Every Dean's Date, I procrastinate with a parody poem to post on the liveblog. This year is no exception -- here's my worst one yet, after William Blake:
Dean’s Date, Dean’s Date, burning bright,
Wucox full into the night;
What immortal fried computer
Could fill up word counts in the future?
How gloomy have the days passed by,
And yet, who’s done? Are you? Am I?
On what wings will we transcend
Our papers, essays — there is no end!
And what fingers, & what mind,
Could I use to write in time?
And when the clocks began to tick,
What’s a footnote — it makes me sick!
What the printer? Why’s it down?
Why must it run me to the ground?
While I in Chancellor Green perspire
To finish papers, I aspire!
When the deans knocked down extensions
So ever strict, not to mention
The take home exams still on our plates.
No more working! F@!# Dean’s Dates!
Dean’s Date, Dean’s Date, burning bright,
Wucox full into the night;
What immortal fried computer
Could fill up word counts in the future?
--GT '24