LIVEBLOG: Dean's Date, Fall 2020
Post-5 P.M. ET — CONGRATULATIONS!!!
WE DID IT. After 24 hours of researching, editing, citing, writing, formatting, stress-eating, not blinking, laugh-crying with grief and joy and overwhelm— we have MADE IT past the final 5pm toll of the Dean's Date bell. You made it through. The semester is *that* much closer to being over. It's time to calm down from the 24 hour adrenaline rush, eat a healthy snack, take a nap, and feel PROUD of yourself for getting through another wild Dean's Date in another unprecedented virtual semester.
And now, of course, you can prepare for the REAL major event of today...
The ninth episode of The Bachelorette. 8pm watch party, anyone?
Thanks for being with the University Press Club today on another of our Dean's Date Live Blogs. We've loved reporting for you. Signing off for this semester,
—AA, and the UPC
4:20 P.M. ET — Cupertino, CA
As an econ major (hisssss), I am typically loaded up on exams rather than papers, and this year was no different. I had 1 (!) paper to finish, and as you might guess I left it till the last minute. In fact, I didn’t realize it was due at 3 PM today, and not 5 PM, until last night. Luckily, I finished it (quality was questionable) 3 minutes before the deadline, which is why you all get this post.
Some of our loyal survey respondents provided examples of their most jargon-y sentences which I wanted to share. I challenge you to guess the subject of each essay based on the sentence.
“Indeed there are many interpretations of its meaning, including tears of the male sex” – NS ’22
“In conducting the archaeology of knowledge on “astrology,” what is now considered a “fossilised” field, we begin to more fully grasp the centrality it once held, flourishing as a bridging discipline, or “middle scientia,” between theology and natural philosophy in Albertus’s socio-intellectual context.” – JS ’21
“The kind of goodness we are wont to ascribe to god is a kind of goodness that seeks to promote the relevant kind of good things, this too meaning something other than just what a thing quintessentially is.” – AM ‘22
“Speculation abounded that this ban would be the final crackdown needed to prevent further exploitation of the endangered pangolin.” – MCH ‘23
Special shoutout to AN ’22 whose “every line” was jargon-y and nonsensical, yet serious. Also, at 10 PM last night BG ’22 had 1000 lines of code to write (RIP debugging) – for our coders out there, can code be jargon-y?
-VP
4:06 P.M. ET — Ashburn, VA
T-1 hour until Dean's Date Fall 2020 commences! I hope that statement fills you with a sense of relief but if not, if you find yourself scrambling to meet a word count that requires you to type more than fifty words per minute, I come bearing gifts; namely, motivational music.
The anxiety-inducing beats per minute of these speeded-up Mario Kart theme songs are the perfect way to motivate yourself to write at breakneck speed for the final hour — and if you find that you need your heart rate even higher, you are free to increase the playback speed as needed.
When you finally finish, the music can also serve as a quick trip down memory lane (remember when our most pressing worries were whether a blue shell would snatch away our hard-earned lead on the final lap of Coconut Mall?). But until then, happy writing — the finish line is in sight!
-AC
2:15 P.M. ET — Princeton, NJ
What year did Late Meal begin? (see shower thoughts from last night for questions that are much more engaging than your paper.)
Late Meal, for my dear freshmen, is an after-hours food gallery open to freshmen and sophomores on the unlimited meal plan (which all freshmen and sophomores are!). It is offered twice a day after lunch and after dinner at Frist Gallery, where you can get anything from salads, fruit, sushi, dumplings, and pho to Beyond Burgers, hot dogs, chicken tenders, and pizza. You can get anything up to $6~$7 for “free” since it is accounted for in your meal plan.
Simply put, it is magical. Five meals a day is what Princeton is about.
For those of you who are already familiar with Late Meal, you know it is more than just the free food. Late Meal is one of the largest if not largest daily social rituals on campus. It is also where we would've conducted the majority of our interviews for the Dean's Date Liveblog were we on campus together. Didn’t catch the name of the cute student in your lecture? Chances are, they will roll through Late Meal at some point during the 2 hour window after lunch and dinner. After lectures end at 3pm (unfortunately, 4:30pm lectures won’t make it to the 4pm closing time) or at 9:00pm (I think this is when evening classes end?), there will be a trail of students making their way to Frist in herds. You just can’t miss your daily dose of loud, greasy chaos on the bottom floor of Frist.
Anyhow, yesterday, I realized there must’ve existed a time before Late Meal. When were these dark ages and what did people eat then?
Frist Campus Center opened in 2000. The earliest mention of Late Meal I could find is back in July 2010, though it’s unclear whether that is when Late Meal began. Apparently back in 2010, you could get Saturday breakfast at Frist as well on the unlimited plan.
There was a brief moment in 2014 when underclassmen could trade late meal for eating club passes (all of this will make sense to you one day, 2024).
In 2015, Jack Hudson ‘16 invented a sandwich which was featured briefly on the Late Meal menu. The sandwich ingredients are as follows: chicken salad, cheddar cheese, mandarin oranges, cucumbers–on toasted flatbread. To our knowledge, there have been no other student recipes featured at Late Meal since.
--YL
2:00 P.M. ET — Midlothian, VA
Hello again, everyone. It’s your favorite freshman correspondent with too much time on his hands. As you all continue in the mad rush to finish your assignments (only three hours to go? Wow!) I wanted to discuss page numbers and headings, which are the icing on the cake of any Dean’s Date paper (or any other paper, for that matter.) I’ll show you how to bring your page number headings into something else entirely, and knock the socks off your professor or preceptor.
Let’s start with the classic:
The good, ol' classic right-side last-name. This is the bread-and-butter, the staple, if you will. Nothing wrong with it. But do you think that it’s going to grab your professor’s attention? It wouldn’t grab mine. A better technique: center align your name (so that the professor knows you should be the center of attention) or left-align it (so that they know you don't play by the rules.
Now, let’s stir things up a bit. All of this has been assuming that you want to use the classic “Lastname [page number]” format. But who made that rule? People who are too afraid to rock the boat a little, that’s who. The first technique is rather tame; just use your first and last name, and introduce a nickname into the mix. Some examples below:
It's all about sending a message (a subliminal one...) And that's right, combine this with the left-align to make sure they know you mean business.
Now, you could also use another name entirely. Try putting your professor's own name in the header.
This technique will make the professor think they have accidentally been reading one of their own papers -- which must deserve an A. After all, they wrote it!
I've got one last trick for you all.
The last technique is something rarely seen -- what we call a “high risk, high reward” heading. Let’s take a look:
As you can see, the header reads “HELP ME PROFESSOR IM TRAPPED IN THIS DOCUMENT AND THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH YOU.” The professor will think you’ve been trapped in your paper with some strange twist of fate. Feeling bad, they’ll have no choice but to give you the good grade you deserve.
Feel free to use any of these techniques to boost your grade into that hallowed A-range. After all, you wouldn’t want to waste your time working on the content of your paper to do that. Happy writing!
-GT
12:42 P.M. ET — Down the ~rabbit~ hole
It’s a fact: there's no better method of procrastination than scouring the internet for animal content. If you’re reading this post (which…I guess you are?), this means you’re in luck! Here’s a moodboard of Princeton pets (plus some other animals thrown in for funsies), organized into two categories—so you can choose the energy you need to motivate yourself through 5 P.M.
I humbly present:
THE CUTE VS. THE CURSED (aka what our professors hope we’re like on Dean’s Date vs. what we’re actually like)
Enjoy!
THE CUTE
THE CURSED
Which camp do you fall into this Dean’s Date? Tag yourself—which of these pets best matches your Dean’s Date mood?
Thanks to JK’21, ME'21, SC’21, VP'22, AC'24, KA'24, and TL’24 for their contributions to this post!
Stay sane out there, y’all.
—BRW
11:11 A.M. ET — Wish Time!
It's 11:11! Make a Dean's Date Wish!!
Want to formalize it? Try this online wishing well.
—AA
10:44 A.M. ET — Carlisle, PA
Is it Dean's Date? Find out here: http://isitdeansdate.com/
And once you do, GET WRITING! Just over six hours to go!
-JK
9:21 A.M. ET — Ashburn, VA
With only eight hours left, I hope that those on this blog are here out of appreciation for the sheer quality of entertainment. But if you, like me, find yourself stuck after a late night of procrastination and/or continuing into a morning of writer’s block, you are not alone.
Rather than sit down and work on any of my three papers, I assumed a guise of productivity by researching the best ways to combat that pesky writer’s block. While sifting through sources who clearly assumed I had more time than I did, I compiled a list of just a few actionable items to kickstart the day.
1. Get the Blood Flowing
It may seem like the last thing you want to do, but whether it’s a walk around the block or a few jumping jacks next to the computer, a flowing bloodstream makes for flowing ideas.
2. Talk it out
You can only stare at a blank Word document for so long, so take a break from the computer and think through ideas out loud. If there’s no one else around, who better to talk to than yourself? Just be sure to record just in case your rambling stumbles upon an epiphany.
3. Fuel the Body
Man cannot live on bread alone, but he also certainly did not neglect those 9am Taki cravings. Take a snack break (or five) to quiet the grumbling stomach.
4. Move Locations
A change in scenery may inspire a new wave of ideas, so don't be hesitant to move one room over; after all, a different shade of overhead lighting may just be the inspiration you have been looking for.
In case you find yourself dubious of the efficacy of these seemingly simple approaches, fear not, for I have taken it upon myself to test them. In the true spirit of Dean’s Date, I combined all four for maximum efficiency. Think of it as a snack break, daily exercise, and a Writing Center Appointment with myself all in one.
While I may admittedly still be on the same iteration of a disappointingly mediocre draft, at least now I have a thirty-minute Voice Recording of me pacing the house, munching on Spicy Queso chips, and bemoaning my lack of ideas to look back on. And really, what more could you ask for?
-AC
8:00 A.M. ET — Midlothian, VA
I'll be honest with you guys. I'm a first year, and I really do not have that much work for Dean's Date. I took an extraordinarily easy schedule, and it turns out I only have one paper and one exam this semester. But that doesn't mean I haven't been doing work. All semester, I've been making memes for PHI 203, Intro to Metaphysics and Epistemology. Please enjoy the fruits of my labor. (And if you haven't already, please read Thomas Nagel's "What It Is Like to Be a Bat.")
-GT
7:25 A.M. ET — Carlisle, PA
To start the day, here's a fun historical fact: On this day 185 years ago, fifty new sophomores joined Princeton’s class of 1838, bringing the class total to a whopping 74 students. This was the same year that Aaron Burr — yes, you Hamilton fans, indeed “the prodigy of Princeton college” — was buried in Princeton, where you can still find his grave in the Princeton Cemetery. First up on the bucket list when we return in the spring? Absolutely.
For more historical trivia (and great procrastination material), be sure to check out the Mudd Manuscript Library’s ‘This Week in Princeton History’ series here: https://blogs.princeton.edu/mudd/2020/12/this-week-in-princeton-history-for-december-7-13-2/.
Where else will you learn that, in 1868, a disgruntled resident wrote a letter to the editor of the Princeton Standard complaining that Princeton students drank too much — "And how many of the graduates of the College of New Jersey now fill drunkards graves, or are fast hastening toward them, under the influence of habits of intoxication contracted, and confirmed, while residing in Princeton during their College course?”
Bucket list for the spring? Hopefully not.
-JK
6:43 A.M. ET — Las Vegas, NV
Just like everyone else up at this relatively early hour, I am certainly not stressed enough and absolutely have more time to procrastinate. As such, I have delved into the Princeton University Library catalog to locate some less-academic options.
A quiet corner of Firestone houses its video library, host to informative documentaries and possibly useful visual references for research. I can only look at the collection online, but it’d be a nice place to check out in-person when that becomes an option. I sought entertainment, and I think I found some good variety; the library houses the likes of Parasite, Spirited Away, Dunkirk, and Shrek. No Lion King, but the musical is in the Mendel Music Library.
Many libraries have audiobooks available via an app called Overdrive, and the Princeton University Library is the same with the Dixon eBooks collection. Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and some other big titles are up there if those sound interesting and you have time to burn.
So there’s quite a bit to enjoy in the library. But for now, I guess we’ll save it for after Dean’s Date is over.
-RBH
5:03 A.M. ET — Montgomery, AL
The time is five o’clock in the morning, the dawn of Dean’s Date. You are the Princeton Superstudent, an amalgamation of all the weird study habits and coping mechanisms every Princeton student is currently using to claw their way through these penultimate hours.
Your current location is strugglebus central (PB ‘21). As you study, you compulsively eat raw chickpeas (AN ‘22) and listen to a two-hour loop of L’s theme from Death Note (MB ‘23).
You have approximately tooooo many pages left to write (PB ‘21). You have not written a sentence yet (KC ‘21). You look up from your current tab, spot your most recent Google search - “controversy definition” - and wonder to yourself if you even know how to speak English (MD ‘23).
You are THIS close to ordering Zaxby’s just to feel something (MD ‘23).
- EW
4:00 A.M. ET - Montgomery, AL and Fort Myers, FL
Bundled up in bed in our warmest pajamas, our families fast asleep in adjacent rooms, we freshmen are finally facing the crunch of our very first Dean’s Date. The whole experience has been surreal - a virtual end to a virtual semester - so we’re grounding ourselves by tallying our bright-eyed, bushy-tailed freshman mistakes.
Mistake #1 - “This’ll be just like high school.”
Mistake #2 - “I have two whole weeks left! No harm in blowing things off for another day.”
Mistake #3 - “I have one whole week left! I still have plenty of time. I deserve another day off.”
Mistake #4 - “Lab reports aren’t that long, right?”
Mistake #5 - “Sure, Dean’s Date is tomorrow, but… I’m playing Among Us and I just got impostor.”
Mistake #6 - “I can just… not sleep. That’s fine. That’s not detrimental to my mental health. It’s fine.”
Mistake #7 - “I can definitely do my final projects in the same window with a bunch of other tabs and not get distracted.”
Mistake #8 - *Spends time calculating the amount of caffeine I need to stay awake instead of actually finishing the assignment so I can go to bed*
Mistake #9 - “I swear I won’t ruin my sleep schedule. I won’t end up posting a liveblog at 4:00 AM.”
Original Image by KC Green
- EW & BRW
3:38 AM ET- Los Angeles, CA
“Think left and think right and think low and think high! Oh, the things you can think up if only you try!”
…Some late night wisdom from the great Dr. Seuss. Even the legends experienced writer’s block.
-H.K
2:33 AM ET - Los Angeles, CA
January, 14 2020. My first Dean’s Date. From screaming in courtyards to breakfast at midnight with friends made not long ago, I partook in tradition for the very first time. The excitement of the new eased the labor of each stressful task. I felt like a Princetonian for the very first time.
May 5, 2020. My second Dean’s Date. I spent the night typing in darkness. A semester of change and adjustment ended with dissatisfaction and an eagerness to finally be done.
December 8, 2020. An unprecedented third Dean’s Date to conclude an “unprecedented year”. This time I learned from past mistakes, and worked through the evening with friends. Together, we withstand the test of separation and isolation and remind each other that our Princeton spirit is truly unbound by our location.
One year. Three Dean’s Dates. Countless periods of growth. Come May of 2021 and the next Dean’s Date, who knows where we’ll be. If there is one thing for certain amidst all this uncertainty, it is that we’ve become stronger and more resilient from all the challenges that we’ve overcome. Whatever the next Dean’s Date throws at us- we’ll sure as hell be ready.
-H.K
2:02 A.M. ET — Shower #4 in Princeton, NJ
With about 15 hours to go, your correspondent is back in the shower, waiting for the "eureka" moment. Here are some other weird study habits from around the world:
“Compulsively eating raw chickpeas.” - AN ‘22
“Stabbing my pinky with my pencil subconsciously.” - ETL ‘21
“Looping one song until I finish my paper. Tonight will be I lost a Friend by Finneas, and then I’ll never listen to it again.” - KC ‘21
“Every time I get writer's block I change clothes.” - AG ‘22
“Putting on British trash TV in the background while I study.” - DB ‘22
–– YL
1:20 A.M. ET — Cupertino, CA
Normally, on this day in the past years, I would’ve been sleeping by now. And that’s because this is the first time Dean’s Date is in December (and also I go to sleep early). On a January night before Dean’s date, on the other hand, I would’ve been in the architecture library with everything I needed to write a paper spread out across the long table. Alas, I am in my childhood bedroom, but since I was missing my Princeton study space, I was curious where others would’ve been right now.
According to the Press Club’s survey, Firestone’s reading rooms and carrels are quite popular, as expected, but the residential college dining halls were represented well. The most interesting find was the creative writing floor of New South.
“Tbh, I'm pretty sure it locks after a certain hour, but I've managed to spend the night on that floor before (pro tip: hide behind the kitchenette cabinets when professors walk by),” said AM ’22.
Here's to next December, when hopefully we'll all be able to get back to our old haunts.
-VP ‘22
12:38 A.M. ET — Fort Myers, FL
As cultural icon and my personal hero, Shrek, famously quipped, “Better out than in, I always say.” I, like the other attendees of this year’s Whitman Wail, couldn’t agree more. Even scattered across the globe, Princetonians gathered virtually in that most sacred of Dean’s Date rituals: the midnight scream.
Held over Zoom for the second time, this semester’s Whitman Wail (though at times more like a Whitman Giggle) was cathartic as ever. Two dozen voices joined together in solidarity, lamenting what has been a truly wild semester.
Couldn’t make it? Here’s a clip. Feel free to join in asynchronously—we won’t judge.
—BRW
11:24 P.M. ET — Carlisle, PA
Last minute cramming has you believing your money-making career prospects are over? Fret no more: here’s a solution from Princeton’s very own Manuel Monori ’17, who is leading a small group of recent alumni in buying up hundreds — like, entire gas stations’ worth — of lottery tickets across Indiana, Missouri, Washington and D.C.
Something must be working, because he and Matthew Gibbons ’17, Hannah Davinroy ’17 and Zoë Buonaituo *18 have won over $6 million to date.
What’s going on? No-one really knows — none of them have spoken to the press except for Buonaiuto, who told reporters at the Indianapolis Star to call her back in a year. Until then, these Princetonians seem to have plans to continue this endeavor with their open-end investment fund, Black Swan Capital, LLC. (Yes, this is all real.)
So, in conclusion: if you’re worried about your monetary future, make some good friends, start up an investment fund and figure out the national lottery system. Easy, right?
Want to read the full story? Here’s a testament to brilliant journalism from the Indianapolis Star, where Tim Evans and Tony Cook have done us a big favor with this great story: https://www.indystar.com/story/news/investigations/2020/11/11/group-recent-princeton-grads-winning-lotteries-across-u-s/6146979002/
-JK
10:15 P.M ET -- NYT First Said
For all my pretentious Twitter fiends (you know who you are) out there in this Dean’s Date void, I highly recommend @NYT_first_said. It’s a Twitter bot that publishes words that first appear in the New York Times, from classics like “jardigans” to "divadust."
I took it upon myself to give you some definitions for my Top 10 words off this list:
- Doomscrolled: Stop reading the comments under Facebook articles. Just stop.
- Humaning: What we’re all trying to do this year, but failing.
- Bestickered: Yond mistress hast so many bestrickered on her comput’r.
- Spaghettified: Your Dean’s Date Brain
- Amongroommates: The 2019 version of Among Us. You know, when we could have roommates.
- Diplobrat: Freshmen after taking their first international relations course.
- Quarancrossword: New, old person hobbies you picked up during quarantine.
- Quarterboomers: 25 year olds who’s quarter-life crises include picking up vaguely conservative ideals and already saying “back in my day we went to Princeton during a pandemic…”
- Presidentpromised: Promises that you make but never follow up on (example: I presidentpromised my professor I’d get it all done by Dean’s Date!)
- Woketopians: Residents of Brooklyn
Happy bescribbling!
-ME
10:06 P.M. ET — December 7
Even if you can't remember it, even if you don't want to remember it, Snapchat will never let you live it down.
Yes, I'm talking about those pesky Snapchat "year ago today" memories. For as embarrassing, out of context, and downright strange as these flashbacks can be, they can also serve to remind us of how much we've grown.
For example, a year ago today I submitted my application to Princeton. As the virtual confetti exploded across my Common App page, I said to myself, "There's no chance I get in."
A year ago today, I had no idea I'd get accepted to the school of my dreams. I had no idea we'd become entangled in a never-ending global pandemic. I had no idea of all the friends I'd make, nor all the people I'd lose.
A year ago today, my greatest concern was whether I'd baked enough sugar cookies for my neighborhood Christmas party (the answer was no, no I didn't). Back then, I didn't know of all the crazy, lifechanging, sad, wonderful, beautiful things I had coming to me this year. It makes me hopeful for what's yet to come.
A lot can change in a year. No matter how stressful this Dean's Date is, remember: one way or another, you will get through it. Just don't forget to snap a picture or two—so a year from today you can remind yourself of just how hard you've worked to get where you're going.
—BRW
9:53 P.M. ET — The Socks We All Need
These socks are owned by TW '23. We all need them. That's it. That's the post.
—AA
9:32 P.M. ET — Geneva, 1816
Does all of your Dean's Date reading have you spooked? Soothe your scares by distracting yourself with Mary Shelley's thrilling ghost story Frankenstein. Or, rather: a blackout poem crafted by yours truly, from a single page of Shelley's Frankenstein. (The Penguin Classics version, Volume One, Chapter VIII, page 89, to be exact.)
Enjoy: "Dean's Date Mood:" a Blackout Poem
Despair!
gnashed
my inmost soul.
guilty?
No,
you
cousin
worm
.
Anguish
;
a hell within
several hours
of misery.
—AA
8:20 P.M. ET — Procrastination Shower
With more than 20 hours to go until Dean's Date, the mind enters a pre-panic, creative renaissance (brought to you by the third procrastination shower of the day). Tonight, I invite you down the following rabbit holes:
- Can the entire student body fit into Firestone if we were to use every single desk and cubicle?
- Are there cubicles in Firestone that have never been used?
- How often do they change the residential college mattresses?
- What’s the oldest running email listserv at Princeton?
- What year did Late Meal begin??????????????
- Which library/ building has the most expensive chair?
- How many bathrooms are there on campus? Are there an equal number of bathrooms in each residential college? Where’s the biggest bathroom on campus?
- When did the Free Food listserv begin?
- Most/least used door on campus?
- Most checked out book at Firestone/ any other library on campus?
–– YL
7:01 P.M. ET — Affirmation Station
It's two hours into the 24 hour grind. Need an extra boost of encouragement to keep you going this Dean’s Date?
Look no further than this positive affirmation generator, a perfect source for energizing self-validation and procrastinatory paper-writing hype. It's customizeable, has a cute origin story, and for all you cool kid COS majors out there, the web code is visible right on the site, in HTML, CSS, and JS. What more could you ask for?
Validate away, Tigers. "I adopt the mindset of praising myself," indeed.
—AA
6:30 P.M. ET — Princeton, New Jersey
Whether it be a quesadilla-run after a night out on the Street or a coffee-run the night before Dean’s Date, the Wawa next to the Dinky station (also known as the “Wa”) is a fond stop for many Princetonians.
Wawa, for my fellow international students, is a convenience store chain that has 834 stores across the United States, mainly in the Northeast. It serves 190 million cups of coffee (six every second) and 70 million sandwiches each year.
The original Princeton Wawa opened in 1974 on 140 University Place, a couple blocks up from the Wa as we know it today. The space used to be a garage–Doten Garage and Studebaker dealership–which was converted into a University dorm before its rebirth as the Wa. The convenience store was moved down to where it is today on 152 Alexander St. in 2014.
Ellie Kemper ‘02, best-known for her role as Erin Hannon on the NBC television show The Office, wrote about her love for the Wa in an article titled, Ode to Wawa, published in the Princeton Alumni Magazine.
"How do I put into words one of the most enduring relationships I have in this world? I’m not sure I know. How do I come to terms with the fact that whenever I come back to Princeton, it is the Wa that I am happiest to see? I do appreciate Blair Arch, and smile politely at my former professors, and give my friends half-hearted hugs, but it is the Wa that holds my undying adoration."
Kemper, Ellie. "Ode to Wawa." Princeton Alumni Weekly, Jan. 19, 2011.
The Wa has definitely been a source of comfort and familiarity on an empty campus but what is the Wa without other Princetonians? Your correspondent awaits the day we can all safely return to Princeton and make the late night walk together to the Wa.
Until then, get writing!
—YL
5:00 P.M. ET — Midlothian, Virginia
With 24 hours to go until Dean's Date for Fall 2020, enjoy my latest procrastination effort, The Night Before Dean's Date. University Press Club will be with you for the next 24 hours, so check back often. Happy writing, all! Here's to the end of the first virtual semester!
Twas the night before dean’s date, and outside my room
Lays a world of snow magic: no papers, no Zoom,
No late-nights, no emails, no coffee, no snacking
Just snowflakes and snow drifts! Snow fresh for the packing!
Alas! Is this life? Am I stuck in the bubble?
Stuck with my papers, my problems, my trouble,
My kettles, my headaches, my coffee, my stressing--
All this while snow on my lawn needs addressing!
If only I’d chosen a school less austere,
With deadlines, assignments and rules less severe,
Outside I’d make snowmen and go for a ride
On my trusty toboggan! Instead I just hide
In my room, on my laptop, miles from the campus
Like a Dean’s Date-y Grinch (or maybe a Krampus?)
Tomorrow, when after the clock’s let go of four,
I’ll put on my jacket, throw open the door,
I’ll forget all the thousands of words I have written,
I’ll get to the snow with which I am so smitten.
The air will be cold still, but I won’t be awed:
The grass and the asphalt have already thawed.
Finally free of the end-of-term slaughter
I’ll run out to find the snow’s turned into water.
—GT