LIVEBLOG: Dean's Date, Spring 2020

5:00 PM ET - You've made it! The hour has struck and Dean’s Date has officially come to an end wherever you are in the world.  Now, take just a moment to reflect on your journey to get here.  Maybe you’ve just spent the entirety of reading period preparing for Dean’s Date. That paper or 5 papers represent hours of laborious, meticulous work.  Or maybe you’ve spent days (okay fineeee... the entirety of reading period) endlessly cycling between watching tiktoks, scrolling through the overpriced dresses on Urban Outfitter before deciding that you will become a minimalist and live forever in sweatpants (afterall, you’ve done it for six weeks, will 3650 more really hurt?), and rewatching Gossip Girl. And maybe around 5pm yesterday night you finally mustered the courage to read the prompts for your Dean’s Date essays. And then perhaps you decided you deserve a break and watched a video of a dog eating watermelon and then realized that dog mukbangs are a thing and are really cute and fell asleep watching them before waking up at 8am panicked, and somehow still managed to finish your essays.   Either way, you made it here.  Reward yourself with some self-care whether for an hour, a day, or several weeks. Congrats Princeton!-MH 4:45 PM ET - The Final CountdownT MINUS FIFTEEN MINUTES, TIGERS! YOU'VE GOT THIS!Here are some adorable and inspiring memes to help you stay motivated for this last stretch:-AA 3:21 PM ET - New YorkSome Dean’s Date -inspired haikus for you: Do dictionariesHave to cite all their sources?#JustADean’sDateThought If I leave the couchTo get a mid-essay snackIs that cardio? Jerry Seinfeld saidWhen his phone’s low batt he’s tiredNe’er a truer claim If I ever thinkOh no!! What’s the honor code??Think: triangle show Virtual deans dateNow I’m home I have more timeOh wait—no I don’t ‑AA 1:55 PM ET - The PledgeRight about now, some of you may be finishing up drafts of your papers. Some of you may be starting them. Some of you may be napping. Hey, we’re not judging.There is one thing Princeton WILL judge you for, though: forgetting to write The Pledge at the end of your assignments today.DON’T FORGET TO WRITE AND SIGN THE HONOR CODE!!! We want you all to be honest, honorable, honored members of the Princeton community. Don’t forget. In fact, we suggest you write it now. Or make a note on your arm. Or tie one of your fingers with string.Need a reminder of what it is and how it goes? Check out the song from Triangle Club that none of us have gotten out of our heads since the first day we’ve heard it (which is, as far as academic honesty goes, a blessing). It’s still my #1 go-to shower song.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO1fU56ottMHappy writing!-AA 1:24 PM ET - Ambiguous localities around the worldI present to you a curated collection of Press Club's pets! We have among us two dog lovers, two cat lovers, and four members whose preferences I am not yet aware of.Personally, I am a fan of man's best friend, but to each their own.-VP 12:39PM ET — Your MindsBREAKING: Eleven loyal Tigers have filled out our PSY 252 survey. Thank you so much!!! You guys are the bestest.In it, we asked you to give us some life advice, and my, did you deliver. The enlightenment in your brains has click clacked onto the page,  and your words of wisdom are keeping us going this Dean's Date. Here are some of your pearls of sacacity:"Live your life as a work of art.""write things down physically""Cherish your friends. You're not going to look back on your college years and say 'I wish I had gotten that pset question right all those years ago.'""work always gets itself done somehow but the same cannot be said of living a good life. don't forget the things that matter. happy deans date. also zotero saves lives, or so ive been told.""Sleep""Everything in this life is transient - including you. But it’s not a sad a transience, it’s a beautiful one: like a river carving out a canyon, the gradual loss of what once was leaves in its place the impression of something magnificent, something worth remembering. Though the lay of the land those many thousand years ago is long since lost to time, it is not forgotten. Indeed it continues to shape the course of the river to this very day.All that to say, cherish who you have become. You are the impression of all that you have lived, be it hatred or love, tenderness or pain. It is all worth keeping with you - perhaps not as memory, but as a guide on the path forward. Let who you have become chart the course for who you wish to be tomorrow."Wow. Just... wow. I'm not crying contemplating my entire life and feeling a sense of deep inner peace and oneness with the universe. You are.There's still time to help us reach a statistically valid response count: fill out our survey here! https://forms.gle/RcAHBBoiKo8MZJ9D7—AA 11:24AM ET — Seoul, South KoreaIt is past midnight here in South Korea, and your correspondent—for whom Dean's Date will strike at the illustrious hour of 6AM—unfortunately has a lot to do. What's powering me on?To echo the sentiments of RBH (read below): snacks I could only get at home. Oh, and the company of an animal (not a fox) (nor a raccoon) that humbly reminds me that Dean's Date is, well, not really an exceptional day at all... You've got this Princeton! 화이팅!-JK8:18 AM ET - Bloomberg Hall next to the New Construction Site“These instagram bots are going crazy.” - every Instagram comment ever Good morning Princetonians around the world. With approximately nine hours left until Dean’s Date, I present to you Exhibit 1: These Bots Be Crazy. Fifteen hours ago at the very beginning of our Dean’s Date live blog, I started an instagram Q&A poll, “tell me your worst on-campus dean’s date experience.” I was hoping to receive some exciting virtual submissions that would save me a lonely morning walk through Bloomberg’s study spaces looking for half-awake students to interview. To my dismay, I received exactly zero Princeton related submissions but I refuse to chase interviews before breakfast and present to you instead a compilation of Instagram bots that decided to respond to my poll instead.

"hey (insert side-eye emoji)""i'm sure you like mems, why don't you follow me? (puppy eyes emoji)""Hi [insert correspondent's instagram] just put a new single (confetti and tango dancing emoji)"" '  ' ""sorry for bothering, could you please follow my meme pages @[insert sketchy meme page]? (puppy eyes emoji)"

As if it weren’t enough having to see these fake, content-less comments on my frequented meme pages, these Instagram bots have infiltrated my Dean’s Date poll (which I would really appreciate if readers filled out). These instagram bots are apparently a form of “Instagram Automation” which engages with other accounts and content for you. As this Influencive article puts it, it does “everything you would normally do on your Instagram account, but do it for you.”I pledge my honor that my Instagram is an honest and accurate reflection of my own work during this Dean’s Date liveblog. - YL 4:12 AM ET - Las Vegas, NVThe eternal slog through databases, sources, and, most horrifically, my unrevised writing, continues. A chilly breeze blows through the room as I brace myself for the Long Night.I give thanks for the companions that have accompanied thus far on this harrowing journey: my stockpile of snacks, embodying my family's food heritage. Without them, I would probably have a healthy sleep schedule, unable to finish my work. I should close the window.-RBH2:15 AM ET - All Res College Listservs. Subject : Help A Tiger Out!!!Oh my gosh, you guys. This is embarrassing. We totally procrastinated on this! We really need your help. Could you please, please, please take a few minutes to fill out our PSY252 survey?? Help out your fellow Tigers! We promise it’ll take less than 2 minutes of your time. Help us pass our Dean’s Date live blog!!!Survey link:https://forms.gle/oJe9gFpBenPVy8Je6Thank you!!!!!—AA 2:04 AM ET - A Silent Bloomberg SingleVirtual Princeton exists in many different forms. There’s Zoom University for lectures and precepts, Piazza for anonymous panic and damage control for the upcoming exams, Tiger Confessions for tea, and as of last night–the Princeton Minecraft server in lieu of the FreeFood listserv.For readers who may have recreated their Princeton experiences on Animal Crossing, you may be delighted to know economists and engineers at Salesforce created an Animal Crossing-like simulation to model different tax policies.

image from Salesforce Newsroom

Don’t let the cute, bouncy aesthetic fool you, however. The Artificial Intelligence agents in this cute simulation are trained to maximize personal profits, and according to a Salesforce press release, they’ve learned to “game” the tax system, just as in the real world.The Salesforce Research team is hoping to use the AI Economist to improve “the balance between equality and productivity,” a common concern with tax policy. How can we improve our tax system and increase general social welfare without disincentivizing productive workers (and tax-evaders)?Many questions to think about tonight but for now, sleep tight Princeton. Your correspondent is now off to study for her econ finals which sadly are not cute, bouncy, or aesthetic.- YL1:36 AM ET - ZoomiverseAh, Zoom. The platform with which the world has become intimately familiar during these trying times. Between classes, meetings, group movie nights, rehearsals and concerts and ceremonies, you've let us do so much. You've given us so much. Now, it's time to check in with you. How are you doing? Are you holding up O.K.?Well, according to your stocks, I'd say you're doing all right.Yesterday, Zoom, your stock was up 11.08 points (7.13%), starting the day at 159.32 USD and ending it at 166.27 USD. You've grown so much in the past day, five days, and week. But just look at how much you've grown since the pandemic brought you into every moment of our lives:I'm proud of you, Zoom. Stay strong.Side note: shoutout to all of Zoom's investors right now. Good for you. Good. For. You.Data and screenshot from Google.—AA 12:52 AM ET - Princeton UniversityHeading back from a rather unfruitful grind session, I couldn’t help but notice the missing pictures on the Butler/ Wilson photo walls. Every prime grind-season, I’ve enjoyed carefully admiring each and every one of these photos on my “quick” study-break and now I'll be staying up wondering where some of these photos went.  

 If only we had received bananas for tonight’s dinner–I could’ve recreated 2020's most iconic piece of modern art. 

image: Comedian by Maurizio Cattelan, The Washington Post

 If Cattelan managed to convince two people into buying this piece for $120,000, you can definitely convince your professors your paper is at least worth a read.-YL 12:02 AM ET - Cupertino, CAEven coronavirus couldn't stop undergraduates from around the world releasing their stress with a therapeutic scream 17 hours before Dean's Date. The Whitman Wail and Holder Howl are longstanding traditions, normally held in the courtyards of the residential colleges, but this year, the Whitman Wail was held virtually, on Zoom.At midnight ET, 21 students logged onto the video call and screamed, whether out loud or over chat. Variations of "AAAAAAHHHHHH", with differing lengths and combinations of As and Hs were very common."Well does anyone know how to make a bibliography," said BR '23 as this reporter logged off the Zoom call.The clock struck 12:01 AM ET, and then everyone (theoretically) headed back to their personal grind.-VP10:45 PM ET - Princeton UniversityEight weeks ago, Princeton closed down all its nonessential functions and sent all but roughly 400 students home due to the Covid-19 crisis. Your correspondent walked into her evening exam on the Wednesday of midterms expecting to come back after Spring break and walked out of her exam to what would be the last couple days of Princeton as she knew it. The last eight weeks have been one of tender misery, yearning, loneliness, and hunger. Every single meal, your correspondent walks through the conveyor-belt-like arrangement in Wilcox, debating whether to grab a bowl of marinara pasta or not. The pasta hasn’t changed in eight weeks. She feels a mixture of gratitude and disappointment–which we will replicate today in our Wilcox Sunday Brunch Vodka Penne recipe. Penne alla Vodka Ingredients:

• Penne (as much as necessary to serve your procrastination cravings)
• 1 Can of plum tomatoes (ripe but canned like correspondent’s passion for virtual learning)
• Onions (because they are the sole reason for your tears not the looming Dean's Date deadline)
• ½ cup of vodka (purchased legally)
• ⅔ cup of heavy cream (me gusta)
• Freshly grated parmesan cheese (te quiero)
• Butter (recipe says unsalted but correspondent believes unsalted butter is atrocious)
• Garlic, pepper flakes, basil leaves, etc. to preference

Directions:

• Cook the penne, reserve ½ pasta water for later
• Melt butter, cook onions, add garlic, pepper flakes
• Remove pan from heat and add vodka, tomatoes, and salt (simmer for 7 minutes)
• Stir in cream until the sauce thickens
• Add penne and cheese
• Mix pasta with scrambled eggs, bacon, salmon, french toast, and maple syrup to replicate an authentic Wilcox Dining Hall Sunday Brunch experience

The confusing blend of sweet, sour, and salmon will lock your quarantine soul in a warm embrace not too different from the Wilcox odors that refuse to leave your clothes. We must cherish these small memories of Princeton this grateful yet disappointing Dean's date. Just like the Wilcox vodka penne, some delicacies we don’t appreciate until it’s too late.- YLRecipe source : https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchen/penne-with-vodka-sauce-recipe-1973607 10:22 PM ET - New YorkIntersections: A Blackout PoemCreated from Nietzsche's The Birth of Tragedy, Penguin Classics Edition, page 85. THEencroachingartcult. Meanwhilemachinesandscience,knowing.It isOneillusion —AA 10:05 PM ET - Georgia Last Dean's Date, the Press Club published an exclusive feature with Princeton, New Jersey's very own Gushers addict. NJ '21, once proud to state that he'd consumed just shy of 300 boxes of the sugary candy in a semester, has turned a new leaf, ending his years-long tryst with the company. "I noticed that after I stopped buying them [Gushers], the U-Store moved them to the front of the store so I fear I might have negatively impacted their sales," he said.NJ has not eaten candy in a staggering thirteen weeks. "I woke up one morning and realized that I needed to take care of myself. And now here we are," he said. He's stopped all candy intake and currently exercises twice a day. Instead of eating Gushers, he's taken to drinking a trendy hemp-infused sparkling water.But his affair with Gushers, even though it's over, can never be forgotten. "There are definitely times that Gushers cross my mind," he said.Once upon a time, he dm-ed @therealgushers "u r powerful." Today, he's sealed the end of the relationship with a heartbreaking "i no longer eat u."  

However, it looks like Gushers hasn't exactly been faithful to our dear friend:

Show some support to NJ '21 for his brave decision! Princeton loves you :)

-ME9:02 PM ET - New YorkRight now, maybe you’re in need of some gentle music to focus while you’re writing your essay. Maybe you’re looking for a pump up song to get you through your work. Maybe you want to discover a new bop while taking a quick break from all of your studying.What songs do Princeton students have on their Dean’s Date playlists?We asked, and seven Freshmen (plus two upperclassmen) delivered.I’ve been spinning many instrumental tracks to help concentrate on essay writing—I love John Powell’s “Romantic Flight,” John Murphy’s “Sunshine (Adagio in D Minor),” Dustin O’Halloran’s “We Move Lightly,” Alexandre Desplat’s “The Danish Girl,” and Justin Hurwitz’s “Engagement Party.” —TW ‘23“Under Pressure,” “My Own Worst Enemy” by Lit, “All Day and All of the Night” by The Kinks —NR ‘23“We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel, “She’s Kerosene” by The Interrupter —SP ‘23Rainymood.com —TK ‘23“The Night Is Still Young” by Nicki Minaj ‑SG ‘23“Starlight” by Muse, “Pet Sematary” by The Ramones, “Family Haircut” by Agent Ribbons, “Soul Survivor” ft. Akon by Young Jeezy, and “The Show Must Go On” by Queen —ES ‘23The Little Women soundtrack. ‑JA ‘23I do unfortunately have “Hair” from the musical Hair stuck in my head. —CR ‘20Tom Misch recently came out with an album called What Kinda Music, so I’ve been bumping that! —GG ‘21Keep those songs playing, Tigers!-AA 8:38 PM ET - Princeton UniversityWhat is Dean’s Date without Late Meal (which you go to to save time on dinner but actually end up wasting an hour emotionally connecting with your chicken tenders) or Late Night Breakfast waffles at Wilcox and bike-pedaled smoothies at Whitman? Princeton students at home and on campus are turning to different comfort foods to keep them company through the most straining, 24-hour blue light marathon yet. For those on campus, Princeton University Dining Services (PUDS) prepared orange goodie bags with sweets, chips, and coffee.As a pre-covid era Butler/Wilson Dining Services student employee, your correspondent is no stranger to PUDS’ exam time care packages which always made sure to meet our crushing caffeine needs. No words can describe the sense of accomplishment and badassery one feels when walking into a high-pressure midterm shaking from the RedBull they received from their nutrition provider’s care package. Hopefully, the goodie-bag coffee is enough to revive my long-lost motivation. While we find comfort in the small, tasty things that remind us of our pre-covid life, the Dining Hall is a reminder that we are writing our Dean’s Dates in a completely different world. “We are working hard and working more with the packaging and everything but it’s different now,” said SE, a dining professional who has been with Princeton University Dining for over ten years. “We only work one day a week and it’s really difficult but we’re all in this together. We do all of this for you guys.”Sending my best wishes to everyone grinding through these challenging and unprecedented times. Your presence is much very missed on campus.-YL 8:07 PM ET - Georgia 

Who’s your Dean’s Date hero? For some, it’s coffee. For others, it’s overly ambitious to-do lists. For me, it’s Lofi Hip Hop Study Girl.

Yes. You know the one. She’s intently focused, studies for 24 hours, all day, every day, and doesn’t seem to leave her room. She has an orange cat and a very aesthetic workspace. Basically, she was born ready for quarantine.

  

The YouTube video, posted by the channel ChilledCow, has thousands of viewers at any moment. Unlike the millions of fans who call lofi their religion, I’m a new convert and have been blissfully unaware of what Mae Yen Yap on Mashable calls a “dark time in YouTube history.”

On February 22, 2020, Lofi Study Girl vanished from YouTube with no explanation. Shocked fans took to Twitter to let out their rage, sadness, and confusion over the event.

@luulubuu said: "The Lofi hip hop girl was studying for 13165 hours straight. In that time she could have achieved:

• 6 careers (1920h per career)
• 109 PhDs (120h per doctorate)
• Learn 7 of the hardest languages (1729h until fluency)
• Walk the earth almost twice (8000h)"

YouTube said “it was an accident.” Yeah, right.

Now that Lofi Girl is back in her room on YouTube doing what she does best, I highly recommend you check her out to help you through Dean's Date. You'll be greeted with a lot of positivity in the live-chat. They say not all heroes wear capes...some wear...headphones? Sorry, it's been a long day.Best of luck, Princeton!-ME7:50 PM ET - CaliforniaThis Dean's Date has been like no other. But, no, not for the reasons you are thinking. Today, I read a book. Not just any book - a fiction book, a fiction book that had absolutely nothing to do with any of my classes.On this semi-sunny afternoon, I am procrastinating. Unlike previous years, this procrastination isn't for my essays and projects due Tuesday at 5 PM ET. Instead, I am avoiding studying for the 4 finals that I have by enjoying an action novel. I was lucky enough to escape the mad rush today, but I'm sure it'll hit me two days from now.I hope all you readers enjoy the irony of me turning to the written word to relax the one year that I don't actually need to write anything.-VP 6:21PM ET — New YorkAccording to Princeton Lore, the Princeton Fox makes a coy appearance somewhere on campus each Dean's Date, bringing blessings and luck for success for all Princetonians. This year, despite all of its challenges, we have been blessed FIVE TIMES OVER.That's right. If you're not on Tiger Confessions++ and haven't heard the monumental, earth axis-shifting, life-changing news:THE PRINCETON FOX HAS WELCOMED FOUR PUPS TO ITS LUCK-FILLED FAMILY.The Press Club is officially declaring this semester's day the Dean's Date of the Fox.Thanks to the Princeton Fox Fam, a blessed Dean's Date is underway!—AAPhoto credit NR '235:00PM ET — Seoul, South KoreaLo and behold... with officially 24 hours left until Dean's Date, the ongoing global pandemic shall not hinder the University Press Club's annual (and most popular) tradition: the Dean's Date Liveblog. Join us as our merry band of nine—scattered across seven states and two countries—document the first-ever virtually compiled edition of this hallowed Princeton event.To start us off, check out this photograph from 1918, the last time Princeton encountered a health crisis at the same scale as COVID-19. How joyous these Princetonians look! I imagine most of us must be looking the same, staring, glassy-eyed, at the never-ending glare of the omnipresent screen.For some great procrastination reading, check out what Mark Bernstein '83 wrote, 12 years ago, about how Princeton got through the Spanish influenza remarkably unscathed: https://paw.princeton.edu/article/why-princeton-was-spared.Here's to health and sanity to us all. Happy writing!-JK