LIVEBLOG: Dean's Date, Spring 2018
3:10PM - Campbell Hall I was scrolling away on Instagram when I saw this:
Damn, Princeton. Social media game on fleek— but so is mine:
I couldn't help it — I'm just #basic like that. Keep grinding, and don't forget to @tag #your #friends!#love #TagsForLikes #TagsForLikesApp #TFLers #tweegram #photooftheday #20likes #amazing#smile #follow4follow #like4like #look #instalike #igers #picoftheday #food #instadaily#instafollow #followme #girl #iphoneonly #instagood #bestoftheday #instacool #instago#all_shots #follow #webstagram #colorful #style #swag-JK2:48 PM - Late Meal As you rush in to grab your last late meal of this 24-hr period, don't forget that last boost of caffeine.Here is a list of caffeine levels for each caffeinated drink available at late meal. Pay attention to flavors. In come cases, they do matter.
10:50 AM - Above the Wu Dining Hall I’ve been up and about since 7.30AM for, well, no good reason. The Rockyite in me decided to be adventurous and bum around down-campus, where I encountered Ai Wei Wei’s Circle of Animals / Zodiac Head and was confounded again regarding a) why it was relocated to such an unsavory place on campus and b) how ugly campus is becoming thanks to Reunions preparations.
But being pessimistic, particularly on this surprisingly beautiful day, is no good for my spiritual well-being. And in that vein, to all you chakra-seekers out there I hereby present: Chinese zodiac horoscopes for Dean’s Date 2018.(I’ll keep this to those born between the years 1995 and 1999 in the interest of brevity.)Pig (1995)Official horoscope.com edition: May 15, 2018 - This can be a day of important decisions. Focus on making your home more organized and secure. Do not hesitate to stand up and fight for your family. Take some time this evening just to do something special for you. You easily do for others - now it is your turn!Dean’s date edition:May 15, 2018 – This can be a day of important decisions: either you finish and submit your essay, or you don’t. Clean up your room once you’re done— you don’t want that banana peel or that half-eaten Cheez-Its packet stashed under your bed forever. Do not hesitate to stand in solidarity with those who are still suffering on Dean’s Date. Go crazy Do something special tonight to celebrate, maybe, granted you don’t have exams tomorrow.Rat (1996) Official horoscope.com edition: May 15, 2018 - You and an old friend may have some unfinished business to attend to. Don't run away or become defensive before facing the inevitable. Wisdom says to be open to listening as much as you are to sharing your side of things. It's possible to get through this. Dean’s date edition:May 15, 2018 – You still have friends. Hopefully. It’s possible to get through this.Ox (1997)Official horoscope.com edition: May 15, 2018 - Everything you do can be exaggerated. Your highs could be higher and your lows lower. Heated arguments with family and co-workers are possible. Wisdom says walk away before hurtful words fly. If you are not already practicing some sort of discipline like yoga or meditation, this is a good time to start. Dean’s date edition:May 15, 2018 – It might feel like hell, but it’s not really hell. Make sure to leave campus for summer break before your professor reads your essay. To prevent calamitous interactions on this emotional Dean’s Date, you should try yoga. Or meditation.Tiger (1998)Official horoscope.com edition: May 15, 2018 - The energy today supports any determination to stick with a difficult situation. Pick your battles carefully and then move forward. Situations permit success if you focus on just a few areas at once. Do not waste time on issues that are not really important. Forgive and forget what you can.Dean’s date edition:May 15, 2018- To bask in the sun and not work on Dean’s Date or to not bask in the sun and not work on Dean’s Date? That is the question. Forgive yourself for assignments left way to the last minute. Forget it post-5PM if you can. Don’t try to multitask.Rabbit (1999)Official horoscope.com edition: May 15, 2018 - We are social creatures. It may seem with all your responsibilities to work and family, that heartfelt friendships take second place in your life. Reach out to find someone who is willing to really listen. Make a focused effort to do at least two nice things just for yourself today.Dean’s date edition: May 15, 2018 - (Aww, cute.) Reach out to a friend and make sure they’re feeling loved, supported, validated, etc., on this Dean’s Date. Treat yo’self at the 5PM Dean’s Date celebration outside McCosh Hall. Then do another nice thing for yourself.-JK9:08 AM - Still in BedFeeling hungry. And tired. Hired? I wish.Anyway, here’s what Princeton folk were eating 60 years ago, according to the Alumni Organization Records.
Think this is fancy? Here’s the menu from 1879:
Images courtesy of the Princeton University Archives.Meanwhile, here's the top of your lunch menu today.
Oh, how the times have changed.-BWB7:50 AM - Whitman Dining Hall Good morning comrades! For those early birds looking to get in a quick workout and start the day right— this one's for you...THE DEAN'S DATE WORKOUT!Looking to run away from your papers for a hot sec?Look no further than the cardio section of Stephens Fitness Center!Your correspondent took the liberty of designing a limited-edition Dean’s Date-themed workout which will only take the avid procrastinator 26 minutes and 15 seconds to complete.THE WORKOUTThe low-down: five different cardio machines for 5 minutes and 15 seconds in honor of the May 15th deadline.On the line-up: 1) the treadmill, 2) the row machine, 3) the stairmaster, 4) the elliptical, and 5) the stationary bike.
…all for 5:15. Tops. (Unless you’re on the row machine, in which case it’s damn hard to stop the timer when you want to.)
THE VERDICT 10/10 would do again: it’s fast, it’s effective, and it’s more fun than spending half an hour on the same treadmill. (Pro-tip: it’s even better if you listen to the Mamma Mia! The Movie Soundtrack while you’re at it.)And, in true journalistic Buzzfeed fashion, some superlatives…Most endorphins: the treadmill, for sure. Possibly because your correspondent actually knew what she was doing so she felt good about herself.Most misleading: the row machine. Gosh does that heartrate creep up on you… Most confusing: the elliptical. Like, how do you use it without looking silly?Most deadly: the stairmaster. The intensity had to go down two notches two minutes in. The previous user of the stairmaster had left a great deal of sweat stains on the machine— which says something.Best for reading: the stationary bike. The word ‘stationary’ is in the name for a reason.Give it a try and get those endorphins kicking!-JK5:30 AM - my couchThe sun is starting to rise. The sky has turned a beautiful shade of blue.
I feel OK about staying up until sunrise, because my pet rats are up, too. Then again, they are nocturnal creatures. [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lppG585ZFHI&feature=youtu.be[/embed]Goodnight from me and my adopted sons, at least for a few hours!4:31 AM - Pace Center / LGBT CenterWe found love (sleep) in a hopeless place.
-SJ4:00 AM - Spelman Tower 6Honestly, the journalist's job is, like, the antithesis of academic writing: making complicated things accessible. In our semesterly tradition, I've gathered some of the most academic, jargon-filled sentences from campus this Dean's Date, and while I'd love to decipher them for you, it's 4am and I'm not sure I could even if I wanted to.Regardless, please enjoy some of the most convoluted sentences from your peers' papers, and maybe pick up some academic lingo to impress your professors with this Dean's Date. ;)"Groys notes that the Moscow Conceptualists, like the Western postmodernists, reject the gradual conventionalization of “innovation” as such. In that vein (and in the vein of later non-moral critiques of postmodernist conceptions of the cultural ideology), anti-dialecticism seems at the root of the Moscow Conceptualists' particular presentism, whereby conditions of historical contingency become obscured through the "cannibalization of forms" (Jameson)." - CW '19"He then states that the introduction of the dichotomy between moral luck and moral responsibility into the schema of moral evaluation pulls it into two different directions, internal evaluation and external evaluation." - PR, '20"The pause in the flow of Lear’s tirade seems oxymoronic; the meter and cadence of the line seems to belie the sentiment. Lear’s determination to keep his wits and his dignity is undermined by break in the “normal”, the break in the iambic." - SD '20"Beckett’s seemingly unintuitive choices in translation more often work on the level of language, moving toward a simplification—an extinguishing of expression that shortens the bandwidth and oscillation of language toward a purification that is perhaps more vague, yet at the same time more precise." -LS '18"Horkheimer and Adorno observe that commodified products of the culture industry reflect rather than resist the ideological force of capitalism and, by fueling a false and phantasmagoric experience of pleasure, weaken resistance to the state apparatus." -JCL '18Bonus point buzz words: "anti-dialecticism," "phantasmagoric," "capitalism"
- LS3:29 AM - Frist Campus Center
3:15 AM - The Internet?It’s a little past 3 am and I just googled “Eisgruber fanfiction.”The juiciest mention: Eisgruber commenting on the press in a fanfic about Prince Harry and a 21-year-old student studying abroad for the semester. Seems like everyone's attacking the press these days.Here’s the quote: “President Eisgruber has issued a statement about the reporters on campus. Check your email.”Is this fanfic worth a read? It’s a no from me.-BWB2:06 AM - Seeley Mudd LibraryEver wonder what past Princetonians were up to around this time in May?Look no further.On this day in history:...freshman David Kirkpatrick '92 was arrested for posing nude for a fellow classmate on the Washington Road bridge. (1989)
...celebrity sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s lecture “Quality Relationships and Friendships” drew an overflowing crowd that peppered her with an hour’s-worth of questions afterward. (1985)
...178 protestors including 110 Princeton students, nine professors, and four Princeton Theological Seminary students were arrested for protesting the Vietnam War behind the Engineering Quad. (1972)
...President George H.W. Bush rolled up in a limousine to Nassau Hall, where he received an honorary degree, sped down Nassau Street to give a speech at a building dedication ceremony, and left just two hours later. (1991)
Will your Dean's Date assignment matter in the grand scheme of things?Maybe. Maybe not.-SMC12:27 AM - Humbled at the Holder HowlThe Holder Howl started on time at midnight, with music playing over speakers for the first time in recent years.[embed]https://youtu.be/dp6I1nqlPBY[/embed]Reactions were mostly positive.“The Howl was great” -EB ’18“It was not as much of a howl as it was a bellow, or a deep-throated guttural… it was beyond words” -NM ’21NF ’21 interrupted NM ’21, spurring the following exchange: “I’m not networking at the Holder Howl. What am I missing?” - NF“‘I’m not networking, I’m covering it.” - me“Oh that’s even worse.” -NFLast year, I was called “some white bitch” covering Dean’s Date. This year I became a Holder Howl snake. I leave you with last year’s mantra that rings true still today: everyone loves to hate the media.-ECS12:21 AM - The WebAnd we're back with this year's installment of Safari Through Campus!We've asked students across campus to share some of their recent Google searches.Here are some of their responses:
"Theres's a reason I clear my history."-SMC12:06 AM - Firestone, A-floorDouble post because my philosophy paper scares me.If you're feeling bummed about Princeton and the bottomless pit of work and the certainty of failure, watch this to remember that it's actually pretty great here. Thanks to the ever-amazing AG '18 and AL '18https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAgazyzzDyUYou're already halfway through the night, basically. Adrenaline will kick in this morning. You're going to be fine. Good luck with the work. Congratulations on making it this far-EDS12:02 AM - Firestone, A-floorGo to this website: http://isitdeansdate.com/I'll give you a hint. It's officially Dean's Date-EDS11:45 PM - Witherspoon'sTime for my first cup of coffee for the night.I stopped by Witherspoon’s in Frist, which seemed oddly empty.“It hasn’t been that busy today,” said Robin, the employee working the counter. “There’s a lot of studying, meaning students are not exactly here.”Robin laughed when I asked her how many cups of coffee she had served today, though, and said she didn’t even know.“You tend not to notice those things after you’ve worked here for a long time,” she said.According to Robin, the most-ordered beverage right now is iced coffee, likely because of the weather.If you’re looking to get your caffeine fix for the night, Witherspoon’s closes in 15 minutes.-BWB10:38 PM - Campus ClubThe Princeton Student Events Committee has put on yet another popular pre-Dean’s Date study break. This year, an estimated 150 students showed up for the mini donuts, Jamba Juice, and pizza, according to PC ’20.Though many students were excited for the free food, some left unhappy.“They didn’t even have water,” said PC. “They’re trying to dehydrate us aka crush our hopes and dreams.”(Update at 10:45 pm: DL '20 commented that there was, in fact, water.)PC, who got to Campus Club just three minutes after the study break started, was disappointed when they ran out of the aforementioned Jamba Juice.“They ordered juice for like 2 people,” she said.The pizza ran out shortly after the Jamba Juice did. (Update at 10:45 pm : According to IE '20, there will be more pizza at 10:50 pm.)Here’s a photo of the line for food (courtesy of PC), if you were thinking of dropping by:
-BWBUpdate: 11:23PMAnother correspondent spent 15 minutes in line waiting for mini donuts, from approximately 10:03 to 10:18PM. Worth the wait?
You judge.-JK10:20 PM - Deep in the Aisles of the UStoreI’m in the UStore for the fourth time this week. Today is Monday.Walking down the aisles, I can’t help but notice that the shelves are noticeably empty. See below for empty shelves where easy mac and cheese, ramen noodles, and Cheez-Its used to be stocked:
I asked one of the cashiers if she sees in increase in customers and what items Princeton students typically buy during the Dean's Date grind. Her response: yes, and mostly snacks. There were a few that were expected (especially given the empty shelves), including chocolate, dairy, yogurt, chips, energy drinks, and ramen. The less expected items: baking supplies and materials to make sandwiches.The cashier mentioned that the peak hours are generally between 10:30 pm to 1:30 am and 2:00 to 3:45 am.“It started out slow, but it got terrible from 10pm to 5 minutes to 4am,” she said.According to the cashier, approximately 150 to 200 people visit the UStore each night. Those with a university-approved card spend approximately $88-$100.The students who I spoke with at the UStore were in various states of disarray.Aparna Shankar ‘21 was seen in a rush at the UStore purchasing a tray of sushi, having skipped dinner. Her friend Nick Jain ’21 was there accompanying her. Unlike Shankar, Jain had already finished his Dean’s Date assignments.“I’m here less so because I haven’t eaten dinner, but because all the other sushi places are closed,” Jain said.Lilly Chadwick ’19 was in less of a rush, heating up a tray of fried rice in one of the microwaves. At this point, Chadwick had yet to start her ten-page paper.“I’m here for moral and food support,” Chadwick said with a laugh when asked why she was at the UStore.In addition to fried rice, Chadwick also purchased Cheez-Its, M&Ms, and Dr. Pepper.Regardless of where you are at this point in your Dean’s Date grind, be sure to stop by the UStore for some much needed ramen and chocolate before they run out.-BWB10:02 - Outside East Pynehttps://youtu.be/mvZRe_0FOZgWe have a trio of musicians playing Wagon Wheel outside East Pyne for Dean's Date Eve. CG '18 on violin, LW '18 on vocals, and BS [postdoc] on ukelele.LW still has to write 3,000 words about the Clean Water Act. CG, on the other hand, is done with Dean's Date work.-EDS9:30 PM - Rocky Common RoomStressed out? In need of a cheerleader?Look no further: this finals period, Daniel Te ’21 is offering a cheerleading service that will get you hype in no time. The Forbesian from Virginia piloted the service at his home res college before deciding to introduce it to Princeton at large.Te, who finished his two Dean’s Date assignments a little earlier than his classmates, decided to re-use the pom-poms he purchased earlier in the year for a ‘Forbes Informer’ dining hall pamphlet he designed.“The theme was Forbes turning into a cheer squad, so I got people to hold these cheerleading pom-poms and say motivational things for midterms week,” he said.The pom-poms were left in his room, unused, until an idea struck him during finals period in the fall.“I actually ended up with no finals… so I ended up watching everyone be stressed out, and I told someone, hey, I can be your cheerleader!”The recipient of the offer unfortunately declined. However, the spring reading period has rejuvenated Te’s efforts.“So, spring reading period rolls around again and I’m looking at these pompoms and thinking — you know I think I’ll actually go through with this. I’m going to go around and cheer random people on,” he said.After sending an email to the Forbes listserv last night, he ran around for two hours doing nine performances.From 8-10PM tonight, Te is cheering in Rockefeller College. BSW ’20 was the lucky recipient of the first cheer of the evening, as is captured here:[embed]https://youtu.be/Nxp-PiuM-5M[/embed] “If you need anybody to cheer you on for the next two weeks, I’m here! Just email me and tell meyour location!” Te said. Check out his schedule here:
…and show your friends some love! Happy Dean’s Date — you can do it!-JK 8:46 PM - Campbell Hall but way back whenGiven the other Campbell Hall info on the blog tonight, I wanted to share a little Princeton history about the fundraising for that dignified building. (Everything from this site.)Most class years give something to Princeton at their 25th reunion--Class of 1879 gave a hall--but the class of 1877 did not do so. Some alumni from that class, including the legendary Moses Taylor Pyne, were grouchy about this at their 30th reunion dinner, in 1907.Pyne started a speech about Princeton's need for new dorms, and alumni at the dinner started raising money. Roughly $56,000 was raised while he spoke, out of the $100,000 needed for a dorm at the time. One alumni suggested that more alcohol could finish the dorm."Send out for three more bottles, and we'll get the rest," Frank Layng said, according to legend.By the end of the dinner, the Class of 1877 had raised $77,000, a massive sum at the time. This was the bulk of the money used to build Campbell Hall, which students first lived (and went to the bathroom) in two years later.-EDS8:14 PM - The World Wide WebSpot the doggo in the carpet:
If you got more than 6/7, you're a real good doggo spotter.- JCW6:45 PM — Campbell HallBREAKING NEWS: HUMAN EXCREMENT FOUND IN FRONT OF FEMALE BATHROOM IN CAMPBELL HALL IN FIFTH SUCH INCIDENT THIS ACADEMIC YEAROn the evening of October 14th and the morning of October 16th, 2017, human excrement was found in two of the four public showers in the only male bathroom in Campbell Hall. Residents of Campbell Hall were notified by an email from Amy Ham Johnson, the Rockefeller College Dean of Student Life.
On January 17th, 2018, Johnson sent another email to the residents of Campbell that human excrement was found in the shower stalls and on the restroom floor yet again.
On February 9th, 2018, Clarence Rowley, the Dean of Rockefeller College, addressed Campbell residents with an email reiterating the severity of the problem. Two months later, on April 9th, 2018, all the shower curtains in the male bathroom were pulled off and the following poster was found on the bathroom wall:
…in response to which Rockefeller College decided to implement a lock system on the male bathroom, such that all male residents, as of May 4th, 2018, now need to use their prox to use the toilet. (This is an interim measure put in place until May 27th, 2018.)
It seems that the impending Dean’s Date deadline is causing said “medical or physical distress” to a certain anonymous individual, because as of approximately 5.50PM earlier today a mound of human excrement was found, placed strategically on a paper towel, in front of the female bathroom in Campbell Hall. The news stirred residents of the Campbell community, with one freshman, CV ’21, dubbing the anonymous culprit as the “femme fecale.”
For those who have further information regarding this matter, please send tips our way — or even better, to P-Safe, because a) someone clearly has problems and b) RIP all Campbell residents.Oh, and happy Dean’s Date eve! Don’t be too distressed, and if you’re needing to use the bathroom then, well, use the bathroom (even if it’s multiple floors down below you).(By the time of this article’s publication P-Safe had been called and a staff member was called to remove the fecal matter.)For reference: Office of Public Safety General Information: (609) 258-1000-JK6:12 PM - Where is the E Quad?What is an engineer? Are they different than normal students? Is the E Quad actually a place?I was unsure, so I asked some people around campus. My investigation revealed that engineers are students who build things and want to do good in the world."They make real things," Jaeyoon Jung '19 (not an engineer) said. "They're an enigma."I was confused by this answer--this is Princeton, the home of multiple actual Ivy Towers, and what even is "real"?--so I kept searching.Two other sources confirmed Jung's statement that engineers generally create things that are "real" and qualify as "stuff." Okay, now I believe it.But why?"They build stuff to save the world," Jillian Silbert '18 said. Apparently, they would be superheroes if they were not so sleep-deprived.Now, I have a clear definition of what an engineer is, and why I should look up to them. Thank you, Princeton!-EDS5:29 PM - Prospect GardenMr. Roger Geach gives us a lovely tour of Prospect Garden and reminds us to stop and smell the flowers:https://youtu.be/kBLfHNB_0WU-SMC5:00 PM - Firestone cubicleNearly 132 years ago, in the May 19, 1886 issue of the “Prince,” a Letter to the Editor called for some hot-take reform:
“Would it not be better to save the personal cheer until something is done, and even then not give it until the runner has stopped, and the captain has had full opportunity to coach him?”Q was clearly a prefrosh or just bitter he didn’t get into BodyHype — because Princeton kids thrive off of the cheering. When is the last time you sat through an entire dance performance without hearing 13 iterations of “Yas,” or finished a plate of Wu salad bar without telling yourself five times over, you can do this? In the spirit of 19th century Princeton rejecting this fine proposal to “modify our present system of cheering” (yes, he’s writing about baseball games — but is baseball not a metaphor for most things in life?), we bring you a full day of good old fashioned cheering-on. So when you feel like it’s the bottom of the ninth, bases are loaded and it’s full a count, check back in for jokes, advice, and stress solidarity. We’ve got your bases covered, 24 hours, 24 synonyms for "thus."Play ball.-FRB