21 Questions with... Clayton Raithel '12

CLAYTON RAITHEL '12 RETURNS TO PRINCETON WITH AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL COMEDY ABOUT BREAKUP, DEPRESSION, AND HEALING. SMILE, DIRECTED BY JEFF '12 and RICK KUPERMAN, WILL BE PERFORMED AT RICHARDSON AUDITORIUM AT 9 PM TONIGHT.Name: Clayton RaithelAge: 24Major: ReligionHometown: Natick, MAEating club/residential college/affiliation: Tower/WhitmanActivities on campus: Ugh, too many. Quipfire!, Triangle, the Writing Center, PUP, Princeton Disability Awareness, Whitman RCA… I was in a jazz ensemble one year, too? Weird.When did you first come up with the idea to take a painful, personal experience and turn it into a comedy show?Taking painful experiences and making them into comedy is not new – my favorite comedian, Mike Birbiglia, made a career out of doing just that. I think the show was largely an attempt to stop giving this painful experience so much power. The stuff I was dealing with is heavy – depression, a breakup, adulthood – and whenever it got too weighty for normal conversation, I learned to find the humor. It was healing for me and allowed an entry point for other people to discuss mental health with me.What was the writing process like?Labor intensive. I’ve never worked so hard on anything. At the beginning, I would just share stories with my directors, Jeff and Rick Kuperman. Then, I would tell stories to my friends. Then, themes started to emerge. A structure started to develop. I finally had a draft around January, 2014. But it was complete and utter crap. So, I took the script to a number of “comedy doctors” to help execute the funny latent in the script. I took some material to open mics and performed it there. I worked a lot out in the rehearsal room. And then we started to workshop it. And then I wrote new stuff and scrapped old stuff. Writing is revision; that’s what the Writing Center would want me to say.How did you come about partnering with your directors, Jeff Kuperman '12 and Rick Kuperman?I didn’t know Jeff all too well during my time at Princeton. But I had seen some of his work on campus, and respected his work. So around the time I thought of making the show, I emailed him and pitched him the idea for it. We met at a Just Salad in the Washington Square Park area for lunch, and I just spilled out everything that had been going on in my life recently. And he jumped on board, and suggested we bring his brother Rick along, too. The Kuperman Brothers and I are now extremely close.How does it feel to relive your post-graduation moments again and again through each performance?On the one hand, the show has been immensely helpful for me, incredibly therapeutic and healing. Reliving these moments in this way helps me process them, it helps me think about them objectively, and it helps me see how crazy my brain was acting. In fact, there are now moments of the show that I treat almost entirely as an actor, which I think is a sign of progress. At the same time, though, there is a twisted irony of doing the show again and again – I wrote the show to get over this painful time in my life and give it less power over me… and yet here I am, doing a show about this painful time in my life, giving it power again and again! On the whole, though, it’s been a very positive experience.What’s different about acting as yourself rather than a character?The main difference is that I have a lot more control over how Clayton as character is perceived. I think a lot about that – because Clayton in the show is both the protagonist and the antagonist, and it’s a delicate balance to strike. At the same time, Clayton in real life is always there with Clayton the character. That’s sort of the point.What was something surprising you learned during the process of putting on “SMILE”?That the writing of the show itself would change how I thought about my life, which would in turn change how I wrote the show. Round and round we go!What has the reception to the show been like?Very positive! I’m very grateful. It’s always different. Some people just think it’s very funny, others are deeply moved, others are both, and a select few who shall remain nameless are neither. The reviews have been great, but I think the most meaningful thing for me is how a lot of people who saw the show started opening up to me and sharing their stories of heartbreak, depression, etc. It reminded me that these issues are a lot bigger than me.Has your ex-girlfriend seen the show?DUN DUN DUN. What a good question! No, she hasn’t. We haven’t spoken for a long time. I know she knows about the show, though, and some mutual friends have come to see it. But, I think the better question here is… does it matter? The show’s not really about her; it’s about me. And I think anyone who sees the show understands that, and probably gets that I have nothing but respect for her and all I’ve learned from her.Why did you decide to bring the show to Princeton during Arts Weekend?I didn’t. I had mentioned the show to Dean Dunne when it had a run in NYC, and he suggested bringing it down. It just so happened that he had a spot in Richardson during Arts Weekend, and that’s how we got here!What about Princeton have you missed the most? The least?I miss academia a lot, but that’s too nerdy of an answer I guess. Umm… I miss that feeling of being invincible? In hindsight, that’s really what you get there, and then you get to the real world and they are like, “Nah, bro” and you are like, “What?” The thing I miss least is the Street, but that’s just because I am not fun and don’t like to drink/party/loud things/people I don’t know.If you could tell your senior year self one thing, what would it be?It gets worse. ZING! Okay, just kidding.If you could switch lives with any Princeton alum for a day, who would you choose?Jonathan Weed ’09. He’s one of my best friends and is really good at math. I think it would be cool to be that good at math for one day.In 10 years, you will be…Hanging out with my pug, because I am getting one, and s/he will be awesome. It will consume most of my time.What’s your drink?I don’t really drink! Can I say a Shirley Temple? I like teas a lot. Umm… water is great as well.How do you get rid of stage fright?I don’t really get it, in general. That’s not the norm for most actor types I know. I get it for this show, because it’s so personal and it feels like if the audience doesn’t like it… they don’t like you. But stage fright goes away when you realize that almost any performance you have doesn’t really matter. Like, yeah, take it seriously, but also… if you aren’t having fun doing this, why are you doing this?In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?I sit through my nursing school classes and think of medical related puns I can write as tweets.What’s hanging above your desk and/or bed?I have a map of my hometown and surrounding towns, and other map that connects that map all the way to Boston. My wall is maps.Where do you do your best thinking?In my bed, right before I fall asleep. I often have to text myself from my bed so I remember my ideas in the morning.What is your greatest guilty pleasure?I actively watch anime on a regular basis and not in an ironic way.Who is your mortal enemy?That would be my brain. He’s a crafty little devil. Always giving me irrational thoughts and making me hate myself. I will win, brain. I will win.What makes someone a Princetonian?If you have to ask, you’ll never know. Sounds like a cop out answer, and that’s because it is! It’s 2:30am and I have to go to bed so I can perform SMILE tomorrow! Goodnight!

Interview condensed by Ellis Liang '15.