Hey Princeton! New Locks Are Not So User-Friendly

Hey Princeton! So what’s the deal with these new keyless locks? I can function for days on four hours of sleep, and I can write a paper in a day, but what can’t I do? Get into my own room. Poor little homeless Princeton girl.Apparently, I’m not alone:HEY GUY WEARING SHORTS EVEN THOUGH IT’S 40 DEGREES!What do you think of the new locks?They’re so annoying. Because you can’t open them with more—er less—than two hands.Do you need help opening your door?Usually I’m fiddling with it, and then my roommate hears me after three tries and comes to open it.Have you tried getting into your room while drunk?Yes, actually. Two nights ago.Was it difficult?I got it.How?Somehow it worked.HEY GIRL CARRYING A LAUNDRY BAG!Have you tried getting into your room drunk and struggled with the new lock?That hasn’t been an issue yet. Because the crew team’s dry. I’m sure that would be a problem though. I hadn’t thought about that!HEY GUY WITH THE BROKEN ARM!What do you think of the new locks?I think they’re nice except you need two hands to open them, and one of my hands is in a sling right now. I’ve been working on the one-hand technique. Maybe I’ll get it. Maybe I won't. I like the old locks better.Have you been practicing with one hand?Yeah, absolutely. I’ve also been duct-taping the lock shut.Duct tape?Yeah, so I don’t need to unlock it sometimes. The hole that the locking device goes into, I cut a credit card in half and put it over the front and duct-taped it shut. If I can’t get the lock, the door’s not locked anyways.HEY GIRL WALKING UP THE STAIRS!So what do you think of the new locks?I like how they look. But it’s kind of a hassle opening them up because sometimes it doesn’t open even when you put the key in and turn it. Sometimes I just prop the door open.How many times does it take you to open your door?On the first try because I’ve learned the trick by now ... It really requires that both of your hands be empty. I have to put everything down.How are the roommates/friends doing with the locks?Both of my roommates always struggle. Always struggle.HEY GIRL CARRYING TWO BAGELS FROM THE DINING HALL!So what do you think of the new locks?To be honest, I don’t like them very much. Because it takes two hands to open.Do you have roommates or friends who just cannot get into their room?Yeah, for sure. I’ve had to open the door a number of times for my roommate.How are you going to open your door now with the bagels and all?I have no idea. I’ll probably tuck the bagels into my elbow.