The Heaven Test

After yesterday's gluttonous shenanigans, are you beginning to question the likelihood of you hanging with Jesus in the afterlife?Well, wonder no more.

Yesterday afternoon, Chuck--a deacon for many years--stood on Nassau Street between Witherspoon and Washington, giving out free "Heaven Tests."  Intrigued?

So was I.

Here is the conversation that I had with Chuck.

L: Hi!  Am I going to Heaven?

C: Well, you have to take the Heaven Test.

L: What is the Heaven Test?

C: It's just a two question test.  The first question is: If you were to die today, are you 100% sure that you are a true follower of Christ?  The second question is: why do you think so?

L: What if you're not 100% sure?

C: We've all messed up millions of times. The 10 Commandments show that nobody's perfect.

L: True life.  So, why are you in Princeton?

C: Well, if I stood on a street corner in my hometown, you could shoot a bullet and not hit anybody.  It's very isolated.

L: Oh, so hitting the heavy traffic on a nice day.  I hear ya.

C: Yep.  I was also at Rutgers the other day.  They stole three of our signs.

And so our conversation went on, through Ezekiel, Isaiah and some other interesting-sounding books of the Bible, and then I was saying goodbye.  I was still kind of confused, though, about my Heaven prospects (I'm Jewish so I'm technically not a follower of Christ, but he didn't say explicitly "No Laurens Allowed in the Heaven Club!") Hm.

So, AM I going to Heaven?  I dunno.  But maybe the Princeton Psychic will.