LIVEBLOG: Dean's Date, Spring 2010

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5:45 P.M. -- My bedAfter many hours of not-sleep, countless pages of top-form b.s., a sprightly walk to Robertson to hand in some papers, some McCosh kettle corn, and a sick Dean's Date water bottle, it is time for sleep.Wake me up when it's time to get down.-- WAS4:13 P.M. -- Some advice from Alec GrevenMay come in handy later. Like in 47 minutes or so. Or maybe not.-- ASG4:00 P.M. -- PrincetonThere's one hour left. Oh my god. Where did all those other hours go? The end is in sight...-- WAS3:40 P.M. -- The EdgeRead your papers once more through. One of my recurring nightmares is turning in a final paper that has all the profanity and gibberish that accompany first drafts."INSERT BULLS--T ABOUT GLOBALIZATION HERE"My first draft calls.-- WAS3:31 P.M. -- So. Close. But in case you were wondering, you haven't quite hit this milestone yet (and if you have, contact the Guiness Book of World Records immediately).-- ASG3:25 P.M. -- On the BrinkNeed some more Gaga for the final stretch? Mr. Christopher Walken gives you "Poker Face":--ECS3:03 P.M. -- It's almost time.No matter how hardThe task may seemDont give up our plansDont give up our dreamsNo broken bridgesCan turn us aroundCause what were searchin' forWill soon be foundCause we're almost there-- AW2:57 P.M. -- My roomJust thought of one that the anagram generator didn't come up with. (Yes, this is how I procrastinate.) This one goes out to all the freshmen (and young sophomores?) out there:Dean's Date = Da Sad Teen:( <--- teen-- GN2:39 P.M. -- I don't even know anymoreIt's getting to be that time. Here's some motivation.Yes, you can do it. Let's just all pray our professors don't have this reaction:--WAS12:28 P.M. -- My Nightmare on Elm Street.4 hours and 30 minutes to go. Whatever you do, do not fall asleep. Don't fool yourself. Dean's Date wants you as badly as Freddy Kruger does.--SJP11:37 A.M. -- Hey. Stop it. Wake up. --AW10:00 A.M. -- It's five o'clock somewhereIn these places, more specifically: Amman, Helsinki, Istanbul, Athens, Jerusalem, Baghdad, Beirut, Kyiv, Cairo, and Minsk. I don't think those are the places this dude had in mind when he wrote this song. -- WAS(Keep reading below!)8:08 AM -- Not My BedFor those of you about to cozy up for a brief (or permanent) nap, here’s a Don DeLillo bedtime story, read by our very own Chang-Rae Lee.[audio: http://downloads.newyorker.com/mp3/fiction/100412_fiction_lee.mp3](from The New Yorker)-- SJP5:35 AM -- Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching HospitalYou know how in every House episode the patient goes berserk, almost dies, and then magically comes back alive again? This is basically what happens in Frist before Dean's Date.-- BKN4:38 A.M. -- My RoomTime for sleep, I think.  For those of you still working, here are 2 of 17 Drug-Free Ways to Stay Awake:Tickle the Top of Your Mouth Cavity – Obviously, you’ll want to do this with your tongue.  Rub your tongue against the top front area of your mouth cavity.  It feels a little weird, but it does give you a quick, irritating nerve jolt that can actually help to keep you awake.Pull Down on Your Earlobes – This may sound strange, but pulling down on your earlobes can help you stay awake and alert when you’re feeling drowsy.  Just try it.-- DCW

4:32 A.M. -- a bad place

Fun with words! Enjoy this gem of an anagram:

Dean's Date = Satan Deed

Other favorites: A Tad Dense, Sedate And, Seated And, Teased And, Dads Eaten.

Check 'em out.

-- GN

3:15 A.M. -- Whig

They call 3 o'clock "The Demon's Hour".  They explain it's because

Jesus was said to have died on the cross at 03:00PM, and that 03:00am is the negative reflection of this hour, and a mockery of the son of God, which is what gives this demonic time its power.

All I know is that if a mischievous stranger with a hint of fire in his breath came my way right now and offered to finish this essay in exchange for my soul -- well, I'd be mighty tempted.  Miiiighty tempted.  But I think I'd turn him down; the Honor Code would likely frown on such transactions.

-- DCW

3:03 A.M. -- Witherspoon

"Sleep deprivation remains a common if controversial means of interrogation. It's torture. Literally."

"Silvano, an Italian man who suffered from such a condition, lost the ability to sleep at age 53. Four months after checking into a sleep clinic in Bologna, Italy, in 1984, Silvano went into a coma and died. Through Silvano's case, Italian scientists discovered an extremely rare genetic disease called fatal familial insomnia, or FFI.FFI sufferers fall into a state in which they are neither fully asleep nor awake. The inability to sleep wreaks havoc on their lives. Sleeplessness deteriorates into exhaustion, dementia and, ultimately, death. There is no cure."

--AW 

2:46 A.M. -- Whig

This video was submitted by a loyal reader -- thanks, Alexis Morin '12! -- and yet couldn't speak more clearly to my current condition if I had starred in it myself.

-- DW

2:40 A.M. -- McGraw

So I'm thinking to myself, if these guys can walk on water, I can finish a few damn pages.

Shout-out to Ray Brusca '11 for the link.

2:04 A.M. -- Frist Gallery

Cloistered in noise-canceling headphones, I didn't feel the chaos brewing until it erupted.

Terrifying mob forms over Frist quesadillas. Vultures swoop down on (cheesy, spicy) carrion. Behold:

"This is Princeton at its worst. People are animals; their sleep deprivation has transformed them into savages hailing from the likes of Yale or Dartmouth."-- Samson Schatz '13I spotted one such villain and managed to capture his brutish image on camera:Time to consider a change of study space. It's getting out of hand.-- GN1:19 am -- Witherspoon-- AW1:08 am -- Whig HallYou know that great Dean's Date poem the Prince runs every semester?  I wonder if they even know anymore that the author was Press Club's president (and a Marshall Scholar to boot!).  Every time they print the thing it feels like a victory.-- DCW12:34 -- The Wa Kylie Minogue is playing, the Red Bull inventory is rapidly decreasingly ... and apparently it's still Christmas at the Wa.  This place is way too much for the sleep deprived. -- ECS11:53 -- Lewis Library, 3rd floor Well, this is embarrassing. I'm sitting here in Lewis (have been since this morning) cranking out a term paper, but somehow I missed this. We got tips from two people sitting a few feet away from me (shout outs to Sophia Peters and Kate Fischl) -- am I that absorbed in my work or am I just that tired? This is going to be a long night.-- MG11:53 -- Murray DodgeAll Things Considered does Lady Gaga:-- AW11:46 -- Whig HallDo you really think you'll be able to keep this up all night?  I don't, which is why I chose to work in Whig, which has some seriously comfortable couches.  Napping: not if, but when.  And when I do decide to rest my head, you bet I'll follow these 7 Simple Rules For How To Take A Nap.DID YOU KNOW? That it takes 50% longer to fall asleep sitting up?DID YOU KNOW? That if you sleep longer than 45 minutes but less than 90 minutes you'll wake up during a slow-wave cycle and feel groggy?I did not.-- DCW11:37 -- Murray DodgeMint. Chip. Cookies. Right now.--AW11:24 -- RobertsonSick of staring at charts? Everything's better with rap music; check these out. Here's a sample:A lil' Biggie for ya.-- WAS10:39 P.M. -- FristLooking to unwind after Dean's Date? Grab your passports. Apparently it would cost less for me to get to freakin' Cancun than it would to hop on NJ Transit back to my North Jersey abode. I am having trouble believing this.  Buy your tickets before midnight!One measly Hamilton for a round-trip Mexican exploit? Sounds like a good deal.-- GN10:31 -- FristSKG's caffeine PSA down there might need a little update: while Viv and Small World and Starbucks are all closing, a tipster tells us that there's going to be a 2AM coffee break in Frist.Another hat tip to Jun Koh '11 for the heads up.And here's a little comedic relief. Your life, at least, is not as sour as Winnebago Man's:-- WAS10:20 -- WitherspoonDon't play this game.Hahahaha. No, really, don't do it.-- AW9:55 -- Campbell HallA caffeine PSA from roommate Steve (who saw me with a Red Bull):

Dude, Red Bull is woefully inefficient compared with the glorious majesty of VAULT energy drink. THINK ABOUT IT! Vault has 117.5 mgs of caffeine per bottle, and only costs $1.50. Red Bull costs WAY MORE for only 80 measly mgs!

Note: Roommate Steve had almost certainly consumed a Vault before being quoted for this blog post.The vending machines in Holder are the only place I've ever seen Vault, but if you're up campus and looking for a lift you could do worse (just remember, bring two dollar bills; the coin slot eats your change!)Otherwise, Small World's open for another five minutes; Starbucks closes at 12:30 a.m. McCosh starts intravenous caffeine drips promptly at 6 a.m. tomorrow.Wondering how much caffeine's in your drink? Full stats here.-SKG9:46 -- Lewis LibraryCourtesy of our semi-annual Intime spam (I already have over 200 emails since 5pm): reasons to keep heart and stay in school, from the always-lovely cakewrecks.com.(And about those twenty pages: blank Word documents are just so aesthetically pleasing, aren't they?)~JMB9:34 -- WitherspoonThe band just barreled past Witherspoon. Just wondering – if you're in the band and you have a lot of Dean's Date work, do they make you play tonight anyway? Let me know!Unrelated:— AW 9:34 -- Lewis LibraryOverheard in the Bird's Nest:

I betcha Jack Donaghy never had to put up with this kinda shit when he was here.

Great, guys: way to remind me that all the 30 Rock seasons are instant-queue-able on Netflix. The productivity of my all-nighter just went waaaaaaay downhill.  (Incidentally, twenty pages in 24 hours is totally doable, right? OF COURSE IT IS).-- JMB9:30 -- FristSo my Blackberry's camera seems prehistoric compared to whatever device took those pictures below, but I thought I'd share a snapshot I took as the band made their way down to the Frist Gallery.They were playing Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." Spectators/victims appeared to be mildly bemused, mildly apathetic, and mildly OH MY GOD I'M SO F--KED.

-- BKN9:24 -- McGraw Center in FristThe band has invaded, for better or worse:Props to Jun Koh '11 for the tip and pictures.-- WAS9:02 -- A marginally different location in FirestoneA friend and I just collapsed into fits of convulsive giggling after seeing this. (Apologies to anyone on C-floor who heard these two creeps cackling in the distance.) Ten precious minutes swallowed by laughter -- and it was worth it. Shoutout to Jake Nebel '13 for bringing this to my attention.-- GN8:38 -- Robertson Hall You know what's always fun to think about? Famous Princetonians flipping out about their Dean's Date assignments. Like, imagine Donald Rumsfeld '54 crying over a book in a Firestone carrel. Or Dean Cain/Superman '88 begging for an extension because his cat died.Or, like, up there, that's Elena Kagan '81, who was just nominated today by Obama to be the next SCOTUS Justice. Look at her - chillin' with Obama in the White House. Hard to think she was in the same position as you, right now, snortin' Adderall and shotgunning Monster.Maybe not. But it's a thought.-- WAS8:34 -- Whig HallDean: "early 14c., from O.Fr. deien, from L.L. decanus "head of a group of 10 monks in a monastery," from earlier secular meaning "commander of 10 soldiers" (which was extended to civil administrators in the late empire), from Gk. dekanos, from deka "ten." Replaced O.E. teoðingealdor"Date: "time," early 14c., from O.Fr. date, from M.L. data, noun use of fem. sing. of L. datus "given," pp. of dare "to give, grant, offer," from PIE base *do- "to give"  The Roman convention of closing every article of correspondence by writing "given" and the day and month -- meaning "given to messenger" -- led to data becoming a term for "the time (and place) stated."-- DCW7:43 -- Whig HallWorking in Whig Hall, more or less equidistant from Frist and the U-Store.  I've got $2 eggrolls a few hundred yards to my left, frozen White Castle Cheeseburgers a few hundred yards to my right, and a blank Word document staring me straight in the face.  Sounds about right for Dean's Date.-- DCW7:21 P.M. -- Firestone LibraryJust hunkered down for the long haul, looking for a nice soundtrack to your hysteria? Flying Lotus gets me in the zone. New album's dope. Glitchy, jazzy, lush -- it'll put your head in the right places. Let it spin and let the pages flow.In other news, I really wish this liveblog didn't exist ... for my own sake.-- GN6:15 P.M. -- Firestone LibraryThe dreaded 5:00 Tuesday deadline is fast approaching, as we're sure you're well aware - but for some reason we're going to go ahead and liveblog tonight for you anyway, because, really, we don't want anyone to have to go through this pain alone. And it's good procrastination. Or bad, however you look at it.So, check back whenever you need a rest from all that writing. We're going to be updating this post with news from around campus, thoughts on this madness, happenings, procrastination links, funny YouTube videos, and maybe pictures of people sleeping in public places (classic), all to help you get through tonight and tomorrow.Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to write a crapton of pages.-- WAS