Urine Luck

Oh, Forbes. What are we going to do with you?An email today from Dr. Leslie Nye, Director of Student Life:

Dear Forbesians,It has come to my attention that someone has been leaving bottles full of urine in our hallways. This has been going on for several weeks. I am appalled that someone in our community so completely lacks basic hygienic standards—or thinks it appropriate to saddle our maintenance folks with this problem.If this happens one more time, I am calling public safety, and asking them to investigate the matter. This could result in the loss of the perpetrator/s housing privileges.

What is the meaning behind these mysterious offerings?  We investigate the best way we know how: haphazard, uninformed googling.Theory #1: Someone's trying to launch an alternative health campaign.  Famed ancient doc Hippocrates "was the first in the Western world to record and teach the practice of uropoty (the drinking of urine)... In the excreted urine all the body's experiences -- physical and psychological -- are collected. Reintroducing the urine to the body forces the body's immune system to confront the same experiences a second time, which gives it a second incentive to deal with the problem."Theory #2: Someone was trying to ward away negative energy.  So-called "witch bottles" were frequently employed in 17th century England to catch evil spirits.  In 1682 an apothecary instructed a husband seeking treatment for his witchcraft-afflicted wife to "take a quart of your Wive's urine, the paring of her Nails, some of her Hair, and such like, and boyl them well in a Pipkin."Theory #3: Someone's trying to qualify for the Tour de France ... or make a quick buck.  "Storing bottles of urine is not uncommon... Stored urine, if it’s 'clean' and from a non-using individual, can be sold for use during mandatory drug screenings."