Tiger Mag brings oats to Harvard hobos

Remember when American universities started hurting from the recession? At Harvard, students were forced to go without hot breakfasts. Soup kitchens sprang up to help students through the whole thing (we heard).When they learned of the travesty that had befallen Harvard, Princeton's very own Tiger Magazine set out to remedy the situation by bringing hot oatmeal to the huddled crimson masses."Our humanitarian action was motivated by our deep-seated empathy for Harvard students," head writer Jim Valcourt '12 told us in an email. "After all, they go to Harvard. Sure, our schools are rivals, but that's no excuse for standing by idly while your fellow man is deprived of morning sustenance. Someone had to act."The mission's mastermind Stephen Stolzenberg '13 carried out the Ivy League Marshall Plan with Valcourt, Myra Gupta '12, Rodrigo Menezes '13, Brian Edwards '11 and Steven Liss '10.Ed Kelley '13 captured and edited their efforts and posted the video yesterday on Tiger Magazine's website:Of course, the attempt to nourish Harvard students' stomachs and souls devolved into a heated rivalrous confrontation ... or at least a couple of email exchanges between Harvard students attempting to plan such a confrontation.Read our favorite emails after the jump.Apparently a Tiger Magazine staff member sent anonymous emails to two Harvard listservs, tipping off the Harvard students and asking for reciprocal prank suggestions. Here is one student's response (you can read the email exchanges here):

I have three options:1) Play up the fact that no one cares about Princeton, and just belittle them: “Oh, you came to make fun of us? That’s so cute. Someday, someone will want to be your rival school. I’m just sure of it!”. “I’m sure there are people who haven’t heard of Harvard or Yale. They might apply to your school”.2) Dress up in the most pretentious outfits possible (I’ve got a fake pipe) and pretend to be fellow Princeton people. Make fun of the fact that they’re the only Ivy League that acts like the Ivy League stereotype.3) Make them kits- giving them condoms and lube, with the promise of hope – someday they’ll get laid.

But ultimately, their ideas came to naught. (Typical Harvard - lots of bark but no bite.) The final message reads:

A couple giant f***-you’s this morning. First, to everyone who said they were gonna come and didn’t show up – i know, you had a midterm/paper/project/homework/just *had* to sleep. F*** you. Seven flake-outs at once?....It’s exceedingly pitiful that Princeton, of all god-forsaken places, can muster the cohesion and joie de vivre to get enough kids to another school’s campus to both make a prank and film it, and we can’t do shit about it.This is why Harvard sucks.

Alas, it seems that Harvard has lost not only its hot breakfast, but its competitive spirit. And, of course, any sympathy it had from an equally over-privileged institution of higher learning.